PREP SCHOOL JESUS FREAK

Apparently one of the old boys in the backroom is in the process of discovering Jesus. It's always disturbing when generic Wasp-Americans discover Jesus, because he almost always turns out to be a know-it-all asshole much like their inner-child. Can't these people be sanctimonious twits without being religious?

We Dutch have mostly mastered that skill. Why are we exceptional, and why can't Anglos simply follow our splendid example? We can thoroughly disapprove of people entirely without being all religious about it. The martyrdom of Saint Boniface proves that; in a blessed event thoroughly backed by Radboud, king of the Frisians, we slaughtered Boniface and dozens of his followers, setting a relationship with snooty Anglo Saxons for eternity.


Not that I'm advocating that for John, but if he keeps getting preachy, there's no telling what might happen. WITHOUT. A. SINGLE. WITNESS.


He's been trying to convert one of the senile old gits. We can't have that. We already banned cellphones in the backroom, if needed we'll also ban religion. Especially at Christmas.

Kindly lay your Jesus horsepucky elsewhere.
This isn't a damned church, okay?

It's remarkable how many conservatives are adherents of the traditional gender roles version of Christianity without ever landing themselves a spouse. Almost as if they're compensating for their failure in that regard by doubling down.

John, if you ever do land yourself a weak-headed blonde bimbette, I shall be the first to wish both of you well and goodbye. I've seen the type you like, and I've heard the horror stories about your dating life.

Don't invite me to your bachelor party, okay? I would drive that party bus off a cliff. Just because.



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