THOUGHTS AT TWILIGHT

Most pipe tobacco sold these days is fairly mediocre at best But that's the way it always has been. Samuel Langhorne Clemens smoked crap. People since that day have done the same. He died in 1910. Since then, the tradition of lighting inexpensive garbage in one's briar has continued unbroken. The stuff people lit up during the Great Depression wasn't significantly better, the world war furthered it, and most over the counter "drugstore" blends have simply gotten worse in an effort to maintain market share by using cheaper leaf. And, as you would guess, that's still the case today. Shite.

Yet a few people have always demanded better. William Falkner smoked good stuff. Tolkien, responsible for the biggest collection of florid balderdash since the Book of Mormon, liked excellent tobacco. Sir Bertrand Russell also appreciated fine leaf.

So shite, while the dominant preference, is not universal.


Today I finished spiffing up a pipe collection (twelve briars) owned by a man I never knew, who passed away a while back. Decent pipes, that he had kept clean and not puffed skunky aromatics in. They did not smell like a rancid sewer, nor were they irredeemably skanked like so many pipes from the elderly deceased. I am, of course, almighty surprised that no grandson or nephew decided to keep them for their own use.
Not outstanding. But respectable workhorses.

They'll find good homes, I hope. Some of them. One or two will end up in the hands of men or women of reprehensible habits, sadly, but there are still many years of usefulness left.
Good solid common sense briars, in overall excellent condition.


WORDS TO THE FUTURE OWNERS OF THOSE PIPES

Smoke good tobacco. Not aromatic shite. Dry it out a little, as pipe tobacco is commercially packed more moist than is optimum, for two reasons: 1) If it is shipped for a long distance over bumpy roads and choppy seas it would be fragments and powder from the jouncing and bumping, and 2) people have been fooled into thinking that soft and moist is fresh and good, which is complete horsepucky. Forget fresh; it should be at least two or three years since harvesting before it's smoked. Curing and maturing will make it taste better.
And if it's too wet, it won't smoke properly anyway.

Do not smoke hot or wet. It's okay to let it go out if the bowl is heating up.
The pipe should rest a bit before you pack it again.

There's no rule that says it has to be filled entirely. Only put as much in the bowl as you can conveniently enjoy. Use pipecleaners frequently. And avoid Hobbits, they're nasty.
Do not smoke when naked, that can lead to burns in odd areas.
Good luck explaining what happened to the nurse.



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