MY HEAD HURTS!

And why does my head hurt, I hear you ask. Did I consume too much cheap whiskey?  Did I play bull fight with a large muscle-bound nimnoo in a bar last night?  Was I misbehaving up a storm with all the other fifty-year old bachelors down at Mad Kevin's Cow Shack, while somebody played brass pole music for invisible hoochies?

Hoochies which we desperately wished were there?
Though we wouldn't know what to do if they were?

Was I pulling an all-nighter dancing nude by myself on a table top except for the stylish lampshade which was on my head?

If so, you surmise, that head ache is explicable.
Even if not entirely well deserved.


None of that!


I was attempting to speak Hindi.
Or an equivalent Indian tongue.


MALLUM? KIA RAHAH HEH EH, BHAI?


[Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uj56IPJOqWE.]


It's complicated. Google Translate didn't know what to make of it.



The other day I was listening in on two Desi-log (ek Panjabi, aur ek Tamilian) having a conversation about dating women. The older one was telling the younger one "above all, be a gentleman, and be honest".
Furthermore, eat and drink at the same tempo as the girl, don't talk too much about yourself, and make sure she gets home safely.
Dress business casual, or slightly more than.
Do NOT go on and on about cars.

This is all sound advice!

If I ever meet a woman, I should keep it in mind.

I am resolved to leave my stylish lampshade at home, keep my clothes on (and the dancing table out of sight), and not take her down to Mad Kevin's Cow Shack. At least until the second date.


Please stop shaking your head.



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