CONVERSATIONALLY SPEAKING

For some people, talking is the purest form of communication. Their thoughts are best conveyed by speech, accompanied by eye-contact, and accented by body language.
All their tools operate in tandem, and for them the process is complete and 'comprehensive'.

That has never really worked for me. Something was always missing, and any comprehension was scattershot and out of focus. At times I didn't quite understand what people meant, and was utterly unable to make them grasp what I was trying to say either.
Talking AT each other is not a very good way of talking WITH each other - much gets lost in translation. No, it isn't a language issue, the only two languages involved were our native tongue.

The odd thing is that as an observer to other people yacking I often see precisely how they miscommunicate and where mutual comprehension goes awry.

Sometimes it is better to be on the outside looking in. The perspective is better.

Eye-contact is clear only if there are no words. Body language is always relatively data-free. And sounds are in one sense just sounds.
Real communication is by text.

If you are reading this, you understand what I am trying to say.


MULTIPLE LAYERS OF MESSAGE

Among my friends and acquaintances there are some who speak easily, and tailor their conviction to the spoken word. By which I mean that what they say, they WILL believe - they said it, they expressed it, they consequently feel that it is truth that comes from the fibre of their being, reality that penetrates to the bone.

With them I am at a disadvantage - their sounds are facile, but define their world. Texts are too opaque, and what I write may as well be in a foreign tongue.
They read, they will read, but they do not actually "read" read.

Those who "read" read may at times not see things the same way I do. But by their reaction and reflection there has been real communication. Not necessarily that there is more data, nuance, or even meaningful content in the text than in speech, but written words have fibre, meat, heft.
A paragraph will have depth and breadth where the spoken word merely has a vibrant sharpness at each new syllable uttered, and loses definition as earlier sentences fade from the moment.
With texts, the entire message is in focus.

I enjoy the blogs that others write in precisely that way. Neither they nor I always leave comments when we e-socialize, but we read each other, and consequently know each other more intensely than if communication were limited to audible vibration.

Real conversation is more spread out over time than is ever possible face to face. It enfolds far more, and what initially might not penetrate becomes clear as material repercolates in the mind. There is an overlapping temporal stretchiness to textual discussion.

We actually have little choice, we have to communicate this way - we aren't fully vested in noise.

There are several sites I visit every day. If I do not say anything there, it's because I might not have anything clever or incisive (or even relevant) at the tip of my keyboard.
But I come back regularly.
I appreciate the conversation.

If we meet in the real world, let's not say too much. Eye-expression and pleasure in each other's company will be enough, no need to struggle overmuch with sounds.
We can write when we're apart.
And I will read what you say with avid interest.


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NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
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