The office has been a battle-zone.
A battle zone strewn with cookies.
Instead of landmines.
Crumbs instead of shrapnel.
We've received food-baskets, with cheese and crackers, cookies, chocolate bonbons, candy canes, caramel corn. Everything from sweet and goo-ie to savoury and high-falutin'. Smoked salmon. Garlic toast nibbles. Peach and pepper spread. And cookies.
This year, a lot of cookies.
Cookies are a good thing.
All crumbly and buttery sweet and chocolatey pecany macademiyi walnuty cashewy goodness......
Makes ya wanna scream.
So here's a video link.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riC_7-rsjAM
Go ahead, watch it. It's safe. No icky-poo nativity scenes, no fat pervert bastard with a beard fetish, no animatronic reindeer, no appeals for money - charity - peace - what about the kids - sweetness and light. No trolls.
No horrid little children singing the same five sacherine carols off-key in shrill voices on perpetual loop. No horrid over-emoted rendering of jingle bells by some pretentious git whose televised holiday special was universally acknowledged to set a new standard for commercialized vulgarity. Not even that nightmare and cold-sweat inducing troll dirge about the little drummer boy rum tara tum. Nothing at all to do with the season, in fact.
Instead, nearly everybody's favourite celebrity, who has a nice deep voice, singing about something that gives him joy.
Every time the sickening smarm of the season gets to me, I click on this link and let his rich baritone soothe me.
Man, I love the Cookie Monster.
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