Our peaceloving supreme leader has launched air strikes on Iran in a peaceloving move that will assuredly get him nominated for the peace prize. Truly there is no one more peaceful. Peace out.
One perception seems to be that a corrupt leader (Netanyahu) roped a senile old fool who needed to distract his own people from a child molestation scandal into a stupedous act.
And that his opportunistic lackey saw nothing but positives going along with that.
The good news is that the Trump kids will never get drafted and sent over there; hereditary bonespurs.
The further good news: Everybody has forgotten about the Epstein affair, my heavens, why didn't we think of this method of shielding elderly predators and right wing perverts earlier it's genius. Guarantee nobody will talk about the Epsteing affair ever again. Turns out we didn't need Bondi and Patel scrubbing documents all that time after all. All we needed to do to get those wussy democrats from waffling on about the Epstein affair was a good solid illegal war which has the added benefit of helping Netanyahu hold onto power.
Hah! Epstein affair, forsooth!
No one will talk about it ever again. A good bombing totally buries Epstein.
Epstein? What Epstein? Boom, baby!
Certainly, all over Fox News World there were sighs of relief, as loyal patriotic talking heads happily prattled about bombing Iran and avoided any mention of the Epstein affair. True and loyal Christians everywhere rejoiced that they no longer had to deflect and obfuscate about the Epstein affair.
In San Francisco, Satan-worshipping homosexuals, as you would expect, protested. Per one notorious firebrand, "that does not justify the President of the United States engaging in an illegal, dangerous war that will risk the lives of our American service members and our friends without justification to the American people." And according to U.S. Rep. Mike Thompson, "in the dead of night, President Trump started an unauthorized, unconstitutional war with Iran -- I am deeply opposed to any unprovoked strikes carried out without Congressional authorization, authorization that is explicitly required by our constitution."
Alex Padilla: "The Constitution is clear, and Republican members of Congress must join us in holding this administration accountable and restoring Congress's role in foreign policy."
Jimmy Panetta: "For the eighth time in his presidency, Donald Trump attacked a country without informing or getting buy-in from the American people."
Minor quibbles! And totally overlooking the benefits that burying the Epstein scandal brings. It's pretty much assured at this point that the Dow will go over 50,000!
And after all, who cares about the Epstein affair?
Over fifty thousand, man!
Patriotism!
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