THE AMERICAN WAY

Only one of the tiresome old fascists was in today, so the usual venomous whining from the backroom did not happen. Which was welcome. No mention even of the holy blessed martyr whom the Republicans all currently worship and venerate. Inaction figures of which will soon be available. Plastic icons. Apparently there are some parts of the country where teaching about his life and several miracles is already obligatory.

Colorado, Louisiana, and Texas.

In the Middle Ages, reliquaries with the body parts of saints were all over the place, and it's only a matter of time before we do that here. Little gold containers with teeth or locks of hair. Some protestant preacher is going to be rich. Profound blessings, good luck, and a cure for leprosy. You didn't know you had leprosy, did you? Well, now it's cured! Hallelujah.

Baldness and impotence too.

I am convinced that this will happen, because many people in the Red States are dumber than dirt. Snake oil is in their blood. Being gullible fools is a way of life there.
Bless their miserable stupid damned hearts.
Fox News watchers.

And of course we also need a theme-park. It will be totally American. Rides! Cotton candy! An artificial lake with paddle boats! A cunningly composed tableaux with realistic wax figures! Nancy Mace! Kari Lake! Louisiana dumbasses Clay Higgins and Mike Johnson! Best thing yet: Greg Abbott with shiny sparkling spinning wheel covers like an Oakland rapper.

Basically a place of pilgrimage with top-notch junkfood and motels.

And tacky souvenirs cheaply made in China, of course.

American flags with the Trump scrawl.
They're a limited edition.
Collectible.



And pizza, of course. The martyr's special. Pepperoni and sausage.
A good thin crust cheese pie, Italian style.
But only made by Wasps.



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