EITHER WAY, USE CILANTRO

The question was: "Is there a lactose intolerant version of that?" At which the store clerk just gaped, then progressed to staring with incomprehension veering into agony when observing the customer's utter sincerity and cluelessness. I myself stiffled all reaction and very deliberately tried looking about as blank and neutral as I could.
It was a valid question. Totally stupid under the circumstances, but valid.
Reflecting an extremely Californian denial of reality.

There is no lactose intolerant version of paneer tikka masala.
There will never be a lactose intolerant version.
It's a sad, sad world, isn't it?

Rend your Guatamalan rags, hug the nearest dolphin, and wail despondently.
Anguish. Despair. Oh woe. The horror, the horror.

Compressed dairy curd (cottage cheese) cubes in a rich buttery cream sauce, with a touch of ground toasted cumin, asafoetida, degi mirch powder, fenugreek, and a generous sprinkle of cilantro. Made "healthy" by the addition of ginger, garlic, and tomato paste.

You want a non-dairy version of a total dairy dish.

Perhaps tofu cooked in coconut milk with spices and tomato paste. Plus ginger and garlic. Sort of a Berkeley vegan interpretation of a Sumatran kalio or rendang.
Extra chilies to make up for missing flavour.

A dish that induces a weary sense of existential angst.
Suitable, perhaps, for the festive season.
If one is veganly inclined.

But why bother?



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