A DREAM INVOLVING VODKA

The dream just before waking involved two pipe cleaners dipped in vodka, stained at the end, as well as a schematic with bevels. This may have had something to do with the eight pipes I cleaned up and polished recently (two Dunhill Canadians, a bent bulldog of the same make, a cute Royal Dane deep bend Zulu, an army-mount Peterson Dublin, a flat-bottomed Mark Tinsky, small Punto D'Oro Oom Paul, and a canted number that I'm mental blocking). Also in the dream, though not playing a significant role at that time, were rotten stone, red buffing compound, and white polishing compound.

What will be mentioned, because it IS important, are bevels.

And all of this is sheer gibberish for most people.


But some hobbyists are now excited.

One imagines the fervently perverse hobbyist -- briar pipe restoration -- now murmuring "ooh, shove your moistened bristly pipe cleaner deep into me baby, clean my tar", as if voicing for the pipe being worked on, which the smoker didn't maintain properly, and which is rather gunked up in the air channel, so that a decent draw has become difficult.


You will note in the schematic above that there are several bevelled areas. The inside of the rim, which suggests that it is a Comoy-made pipe, the outer edge of the tenon, the edge of the mortise opening, and the base of the tenon itself.
It's almost certainly a Comoy.

The vodka used for cleaning is usually what may be politely described as 'frat boy party plonk', something the jocks in high school swill if they can find an aged sicko like John Herbert OR Quagmire to buy a gallon for them, and not suitable for drinking.

I don't know about you, but I approve of bevellation. It's indicative of attention to detail by the manufacturer, and I can rationalize why it's important in several areas. Please note that my two Peterson Princes (shape 406) differ in that, the earlier made one not having a rim bevel, but being a much better smoke (older wood).


Back to the vodka. It's the kind of low-quality crap that Bond, James Bond, would drink. When you shake a martini, you aerate and dilute the beverage, and cool it down faster. Plus if adding anything else, such as either Vermouth OR Kana Lillet, the purpose is solely to disguise the shitty quality of the booze and smoothen it's rough edges. Also, James Bond huffed cigarettes, which dulled his taste buds. In any case he was an arrogant vulgarian, and not a particularly thoughtful man. On that note, I should mention that even an excellent single malt Scotch is quite suitable for pipe cleaning, but it would be best to have a small vessel into which one decants a splash for dipping the pipe cleaners, as you don't want lint or fuzz to contaminate the bottle. For future consumption, of course.

Or, heaven forfend, dissolved tar, accidently.

Do NOT drink the vodka.



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