And people who have young lovers.
Naturally, I shall be spending it with a bunch of hugely irritating middle-aged cigar-huffing yutzes over in Marin County, many (most) of whom are either apathetically married, or very deservedly divorced.
In any case, romance is NOT their game.
The one exception is the divorced white-haired gentleman who recently started seeing a Chinese American woman of his own age, who seems to have put a bounce back into his step. He's actually a very decent bloke, and it is quite understandable that a Chinese American woman of around sixty years old considers him acceptable.
There's not much you can say other than "good luck, boy-o".
We shan't take discussion of his love life further.
Please, do not even mention it.
But by the same token, feel free to discuss my love life if you wish. Which, being non-existent, doesn't leave much room for discussion. Despite what you may presume, I shall NOT be giving myself a box of Belgian chocolates, nor any lovely flowers.
And I already own a pair of completely unused socks.
Nice chocolate-grey woolen ones.
They're lying on a stack of books near my chair, next to several tobacco tins and a tray of pipes. There is a foldable single-pipe-stand on top of the socks holding a Peterson System Standard (shape 307).
A book about Valkenswaard lies underneath.
New socks do not automatically mean romance. If they did, I should purchase socks at the drop of a hat. Just think how fashionable and glowing with good cheer I would be, with my steady supply of comfy new socks and plenty of hot loving in my life.
Lots and lots of socks!
"Why hello, you adorable young brainiac, are you presently seeing someone?"
"Socks!"
Instead, there will be the prospective and not entirely welcome smell of cigars from nearly a dozen crotchety fossils acting for all the world like bachelors, whether wannabe or newly again. At that age, they tend toward the heavier and spicier cheroots, primarily Nicaraguans.
Nothing is as utterly romantic as a Nicaraguan.
That elegance, that mystery, that allure!
Hot Latin machismo, smoking!
Disturbingly homoerotic.
Go on, feel it.
Nope, I am not going to light up a Nicaraguan. I'm currently working on various Virginia pipe tobaccos, as well as temporarily ambivalent about cigars and cigar smokers.
This will be the sixth Valentine's day in a row that I intend to celebrate with good pipe tobacco, fine briars, and several cups of strong tea.
Although I honestly wouldn't mind some chocolate.
I'll take care of my own socks, though.
Got a sock thing going on.
Fuzzy.
Please do NOT give cigars to the woman you love.
Even if she's the person you married.
It really isn't a good idea.
Trust me.
I am unmarried, unattached, and I smell bad.
So I can do whatever I like.
I have socks.
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NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
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18 comments:
Hey BackOfTheHill,
Ever since that first post, where you answered all those questions I had for class (you rock!), I've been following your blog. And I've read your stuff about pipes and tobacco, and I've decided I should start smoking. Not now, of course, but only after I turn 18. ;-)
I've done some research elsewhere about smoking, and I came across this thread in the forums on smokingfeelsgood.com. (Quote here; see my comments below the second dotted line of equal signs.)
[Edit: The quote was too long to fit in a comment here. I'll paste it into the next comment, so that it will fit. Never mind the equals signs.]
"Lungs full of cement" sounds AMAZING.
I know I should smoke a pipe, of course, following all the great things you've said about pipe smoking! So can you make a post for me recommending some pipe-tobaccos that are really high in tar and nicotine, like the tobaccos that the people in the thread above are discussing? And what are good pipes to smoke them in? Of course, only after I'm eighteeen, LOL. ;-) ;-)
Thanks so much! Love yr blog!
Zebra Chick
The quote:
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Sun, 07/22/2012 - 10:25am — smokeforever
I'm relatively poor, so I can't afford the 3+ppd habit I want. I'd love to devestate my lungs as much as possible -- they're far too healthy. So what's a cost effective way of doing so? Are there any cigs with more tar and nicotine than what you'd find at a store? I'd really love non filtered menthols but can't find any. Also are there any online stores you'd recommend? I just know that the more addicted I get, the harder it will be to quit in the unlikely event that I go insane and actually want to quit. I want my lungs to be destroyed by this habit, cigarettes own me, and I want to keep it that way, and make the shackles that bind me to them as strong as possible. Thanks in advance, I really love being a slave to nicotine.
~Alyssa
‹ Newbiekissing a smoker on the cheek and tasting it? ›
General Smoking Fetish
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Sun, 07/22/2012 - 2:28pm — npb100s
Newport 100's
Isn't it a wonderful thing to inhale all that thick smoke into your lungs and let it settle in? Lungs need love too and filling them with smoke is the best way to show them. If you're living in the US, I would recommend Newport 100's, they have a load of tar and a huge amount of nicotine. If any cigarette could increase your addiction, I think Newport's the one.
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Sun, 07/22/2012 - 7:33pm — smokeforever
Money
I do smoke Newport 100s, the problem is I can't afford to smoke as much as I want.
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Tue, 08/07/2012 - 4:11pm — thisguy
inhale cigars
You could try inhaling cigars. The few times I've had cigar...holy hell! If you inhale, one is like six cigarettes at once.
Sat, 02/02/2013 - 4:53pm — smokeylosmokeylo's picture
inhaling cigar smoke
Inhaling cigar smoke really feels good! Really hard on the lungs. If you smoke 2 or 3 cigars in one day, big drags and inhale deep, the next morning you will feel like your lungs are full of cement. Feels really good, but probably a good way to destroy your lungs.
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Thu, 09/26/2013 - 11:53am — npb100s
Consider this.
I know this is a very late response, but to help you get more smoke, take a paper clip and straiten it out. Then push it through the filter from the bottom and then all the way up to the tobacco. The more spots you do this in, the more unfiltered smoke will come out of the filter end. You won't believe how much more pleasure you'll get - and you can do this for every cigarette you smoke.
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Sat, 09/28/2013 - 9:10am — hankhave
Just wondering...
Wouldn't it be easier just to cut off the filter???
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Thu, 09/26/2013 - 9:45pm — JayRob
Basics
Basics are cheap, strong, full of tar and chemicals. I dated a 24 year old girl who smoked 1-2 ppd of these and was hopelessly addicted, had a smokey cough, and a nice soultry voice... she sounded 40. She said the cigs had a strong chemical taste which is great for damaging your body. Good luck on ravaging your lungs with hot, poisonous tar and carbon monoxide, and keep us posted. Is it obvious I'm a dark sider? LOL. Love it when ladies devastate their bodies with smoke!
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Sun, 09/29/2013 - 3:11pm — smokeylosmokeylo's picture
ladies devastating their bodies with smoke
I also love watching members of the female gender smoking their lungs out!
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Mon, 07/27/2015 - 4:10pm — voluptuouscara
And I love smoking my lungs out
And I LOVe smoking my lungs out, smokeylo. My email is voluptuouscara@gmail if you want to chat privately about this, I love talking to other fetishers. I'm always around to chat, as I don't leave home often (health issues from smoking)
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Wed, 08/05/2015 - 7:51pm — JustForFun222JustForFun222's picture
Mmmmm.....that's so hot &
Mmmmm.....that's so hot & sexy!!! Pack it in good and tight!!
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You should try sending Liza Minnelli a fancy briar for Valentine's day. Maybe she'd actually like you for a change.
I'm fairly certain someone is trying to poke me with a sharp stick.
Hey Uncle Atboth, what will all the patrons occupy themselves with, now with foosball done?
Inane rightwing political commentary.
They are, more or less, the "Marin County Male Blowhard Self-Appreciation Society".
我最鍾意嘅情人節禮物係魚丸。
Jackie,
I agree, 魚丸 are excellent, especially in 魚丸米粉湯. There's a place ten blocks south, in the Tenderloin 區, which does a dynamite version.
Your friend found a Chinese woman. You can too. She must have friends. 60 is the new 30,anyway.
I am not sixty, and have no intention of pursuing retirement-home bait.
And if '60 is the new 30,anyway', then I still have many years to go. It works both ways.
Middle Age is 45-65. You've listed yourself as early middle age for over a decade.
At one point, you stop being early middle age, and I suspect that point was some years ago
If sixty is the new thirty, then I'm not even close to middle aged!
And anyway, who is quibbling?
More to the point, does anyone even care nowadays?
So, judging by your most recent post, you are looking for a twenty six year old to bang silly.
Is that correct?
I am a clean-minded man.
And pure of heart, too.
"I am a clean-minded man. And pure of heart, too."
And yet, I am left with the nagging suspicion that you are a randy old perv.
Oh, leave the randy old perv alone to fantasize about his 26 year old waitresses
Hey! Randy old pervs have feelings too!
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