HEY, DO YOU WANT PIZZA?

When it comes to food, many women are neurotic and controlling. Which is something I have never been able to figure out. If you ask a man whether he's hungry, the answer will likely be noncommittal at best; a better question would be: "do you want pizza?" Reason being that by specifying something concrete and tangible, he'll be able to imagine it. Whether he's actually hungry or not, he'll likely say "yes".
It's pizza. That is nice. Simple.

Asking a woman if she is hungry will likewise get you a noncommittal response, but one which cloaks an enormous range of dangerous territory. Elements in the hidden toxic mix often include her self-image and what she thinks her body weight means, does the food which is available meet her emotional framework around eating with or not eating with someone at the moment, what is the context into which the food can be fitted, and is it an opportunity to form some kind of socio-relational implicitcy?


"Do you want pizza?"

"Are you saying I'm pale?"

"No, I'm asking 'do you want pizza'?"

"You men are all alike; I need to go to the bathroom!"


Ten minutes later, you've lost your appetite, pizza seems like a complete waste of time, but the woman is still subjecting the content of the conversation to rigorous intellectual and emotional analysis.

The best women in my life have always been the kind who do not pull that crap. Their answer to "do you want pizza" has been 'yes', 'no', or 'anchovies'. Simple, straightforward, and to the point. After which they would return to their book or cigar until the pizza was actually manifested.
Or Thai food, if one of them said "I want Thai food" instead.
Thai food, can do. Chinese too. Mexican also.

You probably understand now why I haven't gone on a date in many years.



On the other hand, when a typical women asks "do you want pizza", the correct answer is never 'no', nor ever 'anchovies', and absolutely never 'Thai', 'Chinese', or 'Mexican'. Or any other option.
Those answers lead to insecurity.

"What's he saying? Is this his passive aggressive way of exerting his need for dominance, or is it a subconscious rejection? I'm hideously offended, here I offered pizza and he's making a total comedy out of it! And why is he insistently changing the subject? This is very important!
We are having a serious difference of opinion!
My friends were right; he's a dickhead.
See if I ask ever again!
Pig!"


Ladies, there is no agenda to pizza. Nor any deep meaningful message or symbolism. Pizza is good. We like pizza. If you don't want any right now, that's fine. We could also do Thai. I'm open.


Yes, no, or anchovies?


It's not a test.




Please note: This essay was inspired by nine out of ten women.




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