Sunday, February 07, 2016

CAUCASIANS AND TOFU

A good friend knows someone who is vegetarian, gluten-phobic, lactose intolerant, and just sheerly LOVES sweet and sour tofu.
Vegetarian is a choice, often a rather stupid one.
Gluten-phobic is a mental condition.
Lactose intolerant?
Okay.


Sweet and sour tofu is NOT food!


Seriously, if you really like tofu -- some people do, even though if they're white they're probably kind of crazy and food-nutzo -- you should know that tofu is totally stupendous prepared ma-po style, with fried chopped bacon still greasy from the pan added. You might even do fish chunks and black bean sauce with chilies and crumbled tofu.
Or even just plain, served with peanuts and Sriracha.
Also pressed, dressed in vinegar and garlic.


Sweet and sour tofu is an abomination.


Slice the tofu into large chunks, cut a slit in the side of each piece and insert a teaspoonful of stinky fish paste, then wrap each piece with a strip of bacon, double dip (flour and salt and pepper breadcrumbs), and chuck it in the deep fryer. Serve it with hot sauce (Sriracha), mustard, and a zesty remoulade.


Sweet and sour tofu is weird white sh*t.


Bacon & tofu spaghetti Alfredo.



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