The other day I mentioned to someone that the only phrase in my language that my ex-girlfriend ever mastered was “mag ik alstublieft een haring hebben met uitjes" (may I please have a herring with onions).
As an example of Dutch, it is probably one of the most useful phrases ever.
It gets you exactly what you want.
老實講, 我隻氣墊船裝滿晒鱔!
There are several phrases which you should probably NEVER bother learning in a foreign language.
"Where is the bathroom?"
Seriously, if you need to ask that question in Russian, the answer you receive may be less than helpful.
Please don't ask where the bathroom is in their language until you have memorized "the nearest reasonably safe water closet is three blocks up Tvaletskaya Street here, then around the corner to your left, right up an unmarked flight of steps and open the door at the top, and please be sure to leave a couple of kopecks in the tin plate for the attendant ".
You could just go back to the hotel.
Public peeing is a serious problem in many countries.
"I demand to speak to the U.S. consular official!"
That is easy, comrade - he's in the next cell.
"How much is that in real money?!?"
Let's see...... zvantzig kopeck is four hundred and thirty dollars in 'real' money.
Now, will that be cash or credit card?
ANGOLNAALAKÚAK!
According to the internet, the most universally useful phrase in ANY language is "my hovercraft is full of eels".
Min luftputerfartug ar gans fild mit ahl! Mijn luchtkussenboot zit vol paling! Havercrafteman pore mārmāhi ast! Lutakujababot oba binon fulik senkafitas!
Meyn shveybshif iz ful fun veyners! Min luftdümpetbüüdj as ful ma äil!
Habakrap bilong me em i pulap tumas long liklikpela snek bilong solwara!
Or, in the original Hungarian:
LupDujHomwIj lubuy'moH gharghmey!
I have NO doubt that it pleases the Flemings immensely that their national fish made the grade, whereas the noble herring doesn't even rank.
Hmmph.
Who knew that Hungarians were so fond of eel?
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The Kid and I were watching Blue Planet this afternoon, the "Frozen Seas" episode, and when it should a mass school of herring, he turned to me and said, "yumm! I love herring!"
Warms a mother's heart. I can't imagine I would get the same feeling about any expression of fondness for eels.
"may I please have a herring with onions"
I am a Litvak, and so I am hard-wired to like herring. (Alas, no one else in the family does). However, my experience is limited to the jars of Vita herring (or the equivalent) in "wine sauce" or sour cream that are available at the local kosher supermarket. I have also occasionally tried the matjes herring packaged by one or another of the frum-brand appetizing companies.
I once tried to make chopped herring using partially dehydrated Canadian smoked herrings, but I don't think I soaked the fish enough, and the result tasted all right, but far too salty.
How different is this Jewish-style herring to what the Dutch eat? If I go to the Netherlands and ask for some herring would I go "Yum!" or retch violently and discreetly throw the remains n the nearest trash can? Also, what do they serve herring with in the Netherlands?
Conservative apikoris
The favoured herring in the Netherlands is "groene haring" - nearly raw herring, caught in mid to late summer, often called 'matje' in English (from Middle Dutch ‘maagdje’: little virgin), modern Dutch demotic ‘maatje’ – in reference to their not having spawned yet. The reason matjes are prized is because they have a fat content of over twenty percent, and are in consequence tasty and toothsome.
Curing on ship-board is by removal of the gills, throat, and internal organs, with the exception of the alvlees klier (pancreas), whose enzymes will help ‘cure’ the fish. Immediately upon gutting it is lightly salted and packed in a cold place to ripen. The more salt is used, the longer it can be ripened.
According to Dutch food laws, it must be frozen prior to sale (quick-freezing is best, as it keeps the flesh firm) for two days, so as to kill the herring nematode. Hence the "raw" fillets you eat from a herreing stand ('haring kot') will be completely safe.
In the medine (Judeo-Dutch: the country districts), and especially further inland away from the coast, the preference still is for a saltier herring, because in the olden days only such held up well when transported. Traditionally the herring sellers would board trains with buckets of herring to be sold out in the hinterlands, at the consumer’s doorstep. The civilized and lightly salted delicacy sold in Amsterdam and bigger cities would have been long spoiled by the time it was eaten under those circumstances.
The method used by the Dutch and Flemish for herring was discovered by Willem Beukelszoon Van Biervliet in 1380. Leaving the pancreas in ensures a fish which is tastier and keeps longer – in summer the pancreas produces a surfeit of enzymes which assist in the conversion of food to fat. And the fat gives the fish its divine flavour.
It is tcustomarily served with chopped onions, or itself coarse chopped and incorporated in a salad (“gehakte haring”, “haring sla”), although fish-mongers also sell it breaded for pan-frying.
If at a buffet, good rye bread, pickles, onions, and ice-cold Genever might be served alongside.
I’ve also had it in a sandwich roll – that is one of the more popular choices.
Pickled herring, is rather uncommon, by the way.
Too often pickling destroys the fine taste and the tenderness of the fish.
Dutch herring is great, but I really laughed when reading your comment about Russia. You can go to any McD, cafe, bar or whatever and ask nicely if you may go to the bathroom. Or just go without asking.
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