Many news sites have been featuring updates on the saga of the Costa Concordia, that being the ship that ran aground recently and capsized.
In all the hullabaloo, some crucial details are being entirely overlooked.
There were FIVE restaurants on board.
Five!
That's a heck of a lot of dining which was disrupted.
The two main restaurants are the Milano and the Roma, the two premium restaurants are the Concordia and the Ristorante Samsara. Apparently in the latter the food and fabulous crystal and porcelain are to die for.
Wait, strike that. Bad choice of words.
Heavenly!
Errm...
Anyhow, I've heard that in addition to fine Italian cuisine, the food had "an international flavour".
Succulent and seductive were the terms used.
Scallops. Veal. Turbot. Lamb chops.
The problem is that the food served is an "Epicurean Discovery of Wellness", with the selection "following the Samsara philosophy", which means low calories, salt, and fat, plus ayurvedic something or other.
IT IS SO VERY MEANINGFUL!
Ayurvedic? Wellness? What I'm hearing here is fashionably hip mumbo jumbo with a fancy name, meant to appeal to deeply mysterious and spiritual beings who are in tune with the universe.
Self-impressed white bourgeois snobs, in other words.
The folks who confuse karma and dogma.
Probably "talented and creative" too.
Betcha they trimmed the fat off the chops.
What the heck is wellness anyhow?
And why can't it involve globs of butter?
Béarnaise sauce, crispy fries, and fatty cuts of meat.
Or a nice big soul-satisfying serving of Homard Sauté à la Crème.
As a nod to the health nuts, I'll allow that the cream be reduced by half BEFORE the butter-seethed lobster is simmered therein. Culinarily that actually makes much more sense.
And, for those people who are sensitive to alcohol, the cognac and sherry should be flamed first, then added.
[Personally, I prefer to serve this dish either with buttered tagliatelle (garnished with chive and parsley), or mounded over a huge pile of crispy garlic fries.]
Extra cognac and sherry can be served on the side.
Along with MORE butter.
And some salt.
Plus hotsauce.
Bon gusto.
If you wish to offer an alternative point of view, please do so. Just try to refrain from channeling for a twenty thousand year old Inca princess while you do.
DISCLAIMER: Despite what may seem like a cavalier disregard for the people who did not survive, I actually feel deeply for them and their loved ones.
I just wish they had enjoyed more honest dining, rather than pretentious sod cooking cynically calculated to max out their credit cards in a feel-good bit of culinary prestidigitation.
Cruises, ideally, are about eating richly, screwing random English members of the opposite sex in between playing charades in the lounge and observing cleavage, late-night intoxication with doubtful acquaintances, and dumping the body of an elderly businessman overboard.
Oh, and froofy drinks.
Especially the drinks.
Obviously I have never been on a cruise.
I was on the Bay once. Does that count?
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6 comments:
I thought ayurvedic principles would involve a vegetarian, even vegan diet. Or am I thinking of yoga?
There's 'Ayurvedic', and there's 'Eurovedic'.
It's true, healthful eating is not merely what you eat, but HOW MUCH. So you could eat all sorts of "bad" things in small portions and not have to worry about the bad effects. Of course, the kicker is to be honest about the "small portions"
Last week, I had occasion to take a trip to Live Frei or Die country, and on my way up, I stopped in Boston and enjoyed a lobster roll at Yankee Lobster on the waterfront. Very tasty, but they gave so may (excellently cooked) french fries, I could only eat half of them, and I still had indigestion on my ride north.
On the way home, on the other hand, I stopped first at a cocktail lounge called "Drink" and, in addition to a couple custom-made high-end cocktails had a serving of felafel to soak up the alcohol. Much smaller portion, and my tummy was not upset at all. After this, I staggered over to the North End and found an Italian place where I had some calamari sauteed in olive oil and garlic served on "black pasta" (pasta made with squid ink) Fortunately they served a appetizer-sided portion, which was plenty, and not only saved me money, but was was also very healthy, as the calories were cut in half. And I had no indigestion, in fact, the next thing I did was travel overnight in coach on an Amtrak train to Washington, and I slept like a baby. I did wonder why no one wanted to sit next to me, though, not that I was complaining, then I realized that I was reeking of garlic. Good thing Count Dracula wasn't headed to DC on #67 that night.
Conservative Apikoris
Tayere CA,
Okay, now I’m hungry. That dinner of falafel at one place, and calamari plus squidink pasta sounds delightful.
All of that would make the perfect lunch today.
And as far as reeking of garlic is concerned, in this neck of California that’s considered a mighty fine thing.
OK, if you ever come eat, the place is called "The Daily Catch"
http://www.dailycatch.com/northend.html
323 Hanover St.
Boston, MA
It's a little hole in the wall, and sometimes people have to wait, but they serve quickly, and I was lucky or came early enough that I didn't have to.
Right across the street is Mike's Pastry, an Italian bakery with excellent almond macaroons.
Also across the street is an Italian cafe ofr coffee, and a cigar bar, one of three places in Boston where you can still smoke inside. But given that you're a pipe smoker, you might want to stop by David P. Erlich on North St., as he still blends pipe tobacco, the drinks are cheaper (but beer and wine only), and the place on Hanover St. has a lighting/ashtray fee if you don't buy one of their overpriced cigars.
http://www.yelp.com/biz/david-p-ehrlich-co-boston
Conservative Apikoris
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