THE PERFECT WOMAN

The other day, returning from the financial district, I was treated to a young lady's cell-phone conversation.
She was describing in detail what she had done since she last saw the other person.
When I got on the bus, she was in the middle of Friday evening.
When she got off, she had reached Sunday morning.

Ten solid blocks of yakkity.
The other person never got in a word edgewise.

"Oh my god. I know. Okay? Hella. Like. Um!


Her partying was the most exciting thing anybody had ever done.
She drank soooooo much on Friday evening with colleagues. Then she got soooooo drunk with friends Saturday during the day... continued during the evening... past twelve o'clock... till daybreak on Sunday. Still drunk!
Like oh my god, it was a hella blast.

Okay?


Women who make a habit out of frequent alcohol consumption are NOT attractive.
I confess myself gender-discriminating in this regard.

The perfect woman hardly ever drinks, and then only in amusingly small amounts - one glass of sherry or a half shot of whiskey and she's cutely toasted.
She also feels exceptionally wicked when she has a cigarette, limiting herself to one or two puffs every few months or so.

[Not being a woman, I hold myself to slightly different standards. I do drink on occasion. And I smoke. Neither excessively.]

A decent person does not spend all weekend getting stupid.
People who do that have empty lives.


A REAL WOMAN DOES NOT NEED BOOZE, OR FOUL LANGUAGE, EYE SHADOW, MASCARA, FOUNDATION, BLUSH, AND LACQUERED FINGERNAILS, TO MAKE HERSELF ATTRACTIVE!


A good vocabulary, a book-reading habit, and neat clothes are infinitely sexy.
Personal habits that reflect good sense and sound personal standards are far more appealing than wild behaviour and being able to drink like a fish.
Cleanliness, self-possession, and avid interests. That is all.

Perhaps a cup of something caffeinated and a cookie with a good friend.
One can have "hella" fun on just caffeine and conversation alone.

Mighty attractive, that cup of tea.

Is that a deep pink smear upon the rim?

The merest naughty touch of lipstick on the mouth underneath those bright bespectacled eyes, oh my!
It could make a man passionate.

Yow, zesty literate mamma!



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