Under a post about statuesque nudity, large photogenic untzniusdikke parts, and the marble charms of Venus (or Lady Justicia holding scales, in her more 'accepted' public persona) on Dovbear's blog, serious issues have been hashed out.
From the comment-string:
ATBOTH wrote:
"Oh Knight who still says ni - you must be Jewish, that would explain why, when everyone else in your shul is saying "ecky ecky ecky ecky pikang zoop boing goodemzoo owli zhiv", you stubbornly insist that "ecky ecky ecky ecky pikang zoop boing goodemzoo owli zhiv" is NOT the minhag of the old country, and you don't care what these Gallitzianers or Rumanians do, you will still, like you were taught, in a mesorah all the way from the mountain, say 'ni'.
Kudos. Minhag has the weight of halacha. And the minhag says 'ni'. Punkt.
"Ecky ecky ecky ecky pikang zoop boing goodemzoo owli zhiv" is merely a ridiculous chumrah."
To which TKwhoSN responded:
"TBOTH - Yes, I'm sticking with "Ni". Not only is ""ecky ecky ecky ecky pikang zoop boing goodemzoo owli zhiv"" a recent innovation with no basis in tradition, it's way too long to fit in the "Name" field.
Plus, if you need to pass, I only require one shrubbery. A nice one. Not too expensive. So, it saves you that whole getting a two and placing it beside the first one, only slightly higher so we get the two level effect, etc. Not to mention avoiding having to chop down the tallest tree in the forest with a herring.
Ni really is the best minhag - for everyone, knight or not."
As you can tell, TKwhoSN is a traditionalist, and resists hiddur mitzva.
This stand is supported by Rabban Gamliel, who held that the cost of TWO shrubberies put such a terrible burden on a family that they would abandon (the individual required to present a shrubbery) and flee. Rabban Gamliel says: "Ein zaken b'Cheshvan" [ 'nobody (harvests) a mature shrubbery in (the month of) Cheshvan' ]. Because it is a hardship.
But this is not necessarily a barrier to performing a commandment, and further, when his (Rabban Gamliel’s) children came home after chatzos, they asked their father whether they could recite krias shema. Now, though one cannot gain a kiyum mitzvah d’oraysa, done knowingly in contravention of standards set by Chazal, the children missed the proper time of chatzos only b'ones (unintentionally). And it is suggested that violating a d'rabbanan b'ones should not negate a kiyum d'oraysa.
Rav zeira opines (regarding hiddur mitzva), "by as much as a third".
Rashi explains as follows: 'if a man finds two shrubberies and acquires the nicer one, he should go that third further for the nicer one' - "today we do the mitzva, tomorrow we may be rewarded". What is added on will be repaid (al pi Rashi, Bava Kama 9b).
The Rishonim disagree as to the correct way of fulfilling the mitzva mehadrin min hamehadrin. The Rambam avers that it is supplemental to the preceding level (mehadrin): one should acquire an additional shrubbery for each person, for each occasion that a shrubbery is required. He states that we use the best that we can afford - and this implies a comparative, and hence, it might be argued, TWO (or more) shrubberies!
That presents a machlokes: how many shrubberies are required, and are more (than the basic requirement) permitted?
The Rema also allows one for each person like the Rambam, which is the Ashkenazic minhag (a shrubbery per person) but differs from the Rambam, who held that it was enough if the head of the household presented the shrubberies on behalf of each member of the family - the Rema states that each individual should present his own. The Maharil agrees.
So whereas one point of view holds that there should also be a shrubbery for the person presenting the shrubbery (and a minimum of one additional shrubbery for the household), the practise has been one shrubbery per person.
As is written: "Two is one too many, and three is right out. No more. No less. One shall be the count of your shrubbery, and the number of the shrubbery shall be one. Two shall you not present, nor either present naught, excepting that you then proceed to one. Three is right out. Once the number one, being the first number, be reached, present you then the shrubbery towards the knights".
[Rambam, Sefer Netachim]
Other readers also weighed in.
Yossi said:
"I would have to say that I lean towards "Ni" however there is a lot of persuasive reasoning to the machlokes disputing "Ni" and suggesting that the proper minhag is, in fact, "It!"
One only needs consider the knights' response to that holy word to understand the strong foundation to that contention."
Abe said:
"About 5 years ago, I went to a fundie relative's wedding, much against my better judgement. It took place in a very fancy and expensive catering hall. After the valet took my car, I walked through a gardened walkway to the entrance and noted 2 shrouded figures on both sides of the entrance doors. I was puzzled and took a closer look. I peeked under the shroud and I laughed when I realized that the licentious display was nothing more than a nude statue of Venus in all her feminine charms.
I surmised that the sight of a nude Venus might have deleterious effects on the choson's frame of mind for future kolel study.
On the other hand, the dopey fundies didn't understand that this was also an ancient kabalistic segula for a more productive romp in the bedroom on the happy couple's wedding night. "
The Internet is for Porn said:
" "I surmised that the sight of a nude Venus might have deleterious effects on the choson's frame of mind for future kolel study. "But on the other hand, it might have done wonders for the choson's frame of mind regarding the mitzva of pru urvu!"
We see that the obligation (d'oraisa) of the shrubbery is linked to the mitzva of pru urvu, and while our fathers (may have) had two wives (Yakov, with Rachel and Leah, for instance), it has long been customary for us to have only one spouse. Hence the exactation of TWO shrubberies clearly constitutes a hardship.
No matter your (understandably) keen desire to 'beautify the commandment', you should limit yourself to one.
Ni.
Warning: May contain traces of soy, wheat, lecithin and tree nuts. That you are here
strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton.
And that you might like cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.
Friday, June 20, 2008
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14 comments:
I trust you won't be going around saying "Ni!" to old women.
Heathen! Amhaarets!
It is really "Ekke Ekke Ekke Ekke Ptang Zoo Boing!"
Peng!
Sincerely,
Roger (the Shrubber)
Well, neeeee-womm to both of you! That is all.
You're all wrong.
Current minhag is "ecky ecky ecky ecky f-tang ftang olé biscuit barrel".
But then, as they say, shishim panim le kamelos.
Love,
The Knight Who Says 'Meh'
and here comes the knight who says "oy" :-P
IT!
Boycotting British humour seems difficult too....
Can't y'all find something from Rowan & Martin which relates to mitzvot?
My hovercraft is full of eels
We're knights of the Seder Table
We lean when ever we're able
We eat maror
and kvetch and moan
with minhagim impeccable
We don't dine well
without gebrokts
we eat kartoffels, eggs
and prunes a lot!
Re: Hovercraft full of eels; I will not buy this tobacconist, IT is scratched.
Oh, and Anonymous One: I believe you'll find it is actually "Ekke ekke ekke ekke p'tang ZOOP boing (unspellable sound which I believe can only be made be rubbing one's lips sideways whilst gently humming).
And, just for the hell of it...
Peng!
IT!
Ni whomp!
---Grant Patel
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