IS IT PIZZA WEATHER YET?

Sometimes a ground-dwelling rodent wants a change of career. I mean, what qualifications do you need? And perhaps you weren't qualified to be a weather man. Weather rat. Predictor of winter and person who ruins lives. As per hatemail you're now getting from various horrible idiots in red states who say that because you gave them six more weeks of winter, which was so woke man, and they can't afford their fuel bill, they're going to blow up your burrow and make sure you never work is the climate industry again. They've seen you at the liquour store, and they know where your children go to school.

That love letter from the Californian overjoyed that those dingbats are going to suffer for six more weeks thank you thank you thank you is nice, but it doesn't quite balance out the hate from places like Tennessee and Michigan. Which are filled with idiots.
And let's not even mention Pennsylvania.

Bad apples aren't born.
They're made.

Perhaps you should have become a mortician, like your cousin Larry. Dead people seldom write hatemail. Larry got a bomb threat only once. He has a house now. Real living quarters.


You live in what is basically a hole in the ground.
You're mother is very disappointed!
Bad son!

It is baffling to me why East Coasters, like those people in Pennsylvania, are so convinced that a large rodent that doesn't even eat bananas can accurately predict the weather, and then act all depressed and suicidal when six more weeks are "predicted".
Like, their pizza isn't bad enough?

They will eat the crappy pizza and not doubt the meaning of existence or want to drink lye, not even a shred of regret, but the weather rat destroyed everything they lived for?
What, are they completely and staggeringly insane?



By the way, it's over sixty degrees Fahrenheit outside here. Do I wear shortsleeves, or just man up, and roll the sleeves up if needed? It's a quandary.



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