IT'S BEIGE!

Years ago on a brief visit to England before heading over to the continent, I got both acid indigestion and blockage at the same time. So when, a few months ago, American people on the internet were reacting with outraged arrogance over English Chinese food, I could sort of understand. They were imagining having to hurry to Walgreens on the double to visit the long aisle with all the American patent remedies for indigestion, constipation, acid reflux, gastric distress and upset, and similar problems. Because Americans really eat very much like the British, except with more electric colouring matter. English Chinese food is beige, American Chinese food is shocking pink, neon orange, brilliant lavender, and blood red. Or mahogany.
And instead of curry sauce on everything, it's either sweet and sour sauce, or General Tzo's. Sometimes it's duck sauce, which is something only found in New York.
To expand the repertoire, add sesame seeds.

If you were to take a slice of New York or Chicago Pizza, chop it into strips, substitute sweet and sour sauce for tomato sauce, and call it "crusty Peking nuggets", the average American wouldn't blink an eye. Add mild curry sauce, and you could serve it to an Englishman.

Deep fry it; it's now "Manchurian tidbit".

Fried rice, chicken balls in sweet and sour sauce, salt and chili fries, almost no vegetables, and everything jumbled together on the plate with "curry" sauce on top. Plus shrimp chips.

It's just as "authentic" as broccoli beef, chicken chow mein, and kung pao.

Lunch today will be at a chachanteng (茶餐廳). Might have spaghetti with a porkchop and melted cheese. Might have something curried. Or I could ask for fried rice or Swiss wings.
It's all good with sambal. And a cup of milk tea.
They also have ice cream there.



That's what English Chinese food needs!
Lots of melted cheese on top!
It's brilliant!



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