FRIED THOUGHTS

From somewhere comes the smell of bacon. Which is odd. It's not my apartment mate, she's currently in the bathroom, where there are no burners. I'm sure I would have noticed if she had smuggled-in an electric fry pan and placed it there. And it's not from the airwell. The only other active kitchen there is my landlady downstairs and I don't hear anything. The building next door only fronts bathrooms onto the airwell. There is no baconating restaurant nearby. This is disconcerting, as bacon brings cats and I am not ready to become a cat daddy.

It was not noticeable earlier when I was wandering around the neighborhood smoking a pipe. All that was out there at that hour was a man with an ugly pug, and three Chinese American women putting luggage for one of them in a car.

It's fairly certain it wasn't them. I've been around Chinatown at all hours of the morning, and I've never smelled bacon there.

Frying bacon is mostly not a Chinese American thing.
Despite voracious early morning appetites.

Sometime next week I should probably go down there and have dumplings for breakfast. One of the chachantengs opens real early and does a booming business just after the crack of dawn, and I've seen Chinese people at that hour. They're bearable, unlike the hipsters and yuppies in North Beach who made morning cappucino at coffee places there surreal and confrontational. And without newspapers anymore there's no place to hide.

Oh sure, the SF Chronicle is still being published. But it's not worth reading anymore, and good luck finding a rack. And besides, you cannot smoke at the cafes like you used to.



What this world needs, desperately needs, is somewhere with cappucinos and dumplings, dusty reading material, two or three full sets of encyclopedias, over a dozen cats, and ashtrays with knockers for pipe smokers who are encouraged.



Overheard on the bus recently: "Allergies are bad man, they open you up to infection. Your nose runs, and germs love the wet places. They thrive in it. Don't blow your nose to get rid of the motes and pollen; the only solution is to snork as hard as possible so that it smacks up against your brain and gets defeated by your mind."



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