Please, desi tourists, do NOT rent a bicycle during your trip to the San Francisco for a fun jaunt across the Golden Gate Bridge on a clear day. You will have such a good time when you get to Sausalito on the other side that you will head back when it's too late. You will wait for nearly an hour at the last stop on the north side. Surely you can take the bus back to SF in smooth warm comfort? No. No bikes allowed on board. The rack on the front of the bus only has room for three total, one of the other passengers already has his there, and there are six of you. Four of you will have to ride back under your own steam in the freezing cold mists and brutal wind, while Rajeev and Vasanti sit inside. Warm! So heartless! When you get back to Chandragandanagar you will tell everybody how heartless they were.
We were freezing, and assaulted by bhutas and dushtvale rakshasas!
Jinns and howling bearded Republicans! Oh, it was awful!
Rajeev's mother is a badbuhwalli untni!
They are horrible people!
It's so sad. Your trip to California ruined by Rajeev conspiring with the bus company to give you palpitations and a cold. Perhaps he should be pelted with eggs. Perhaps you should have asked probing questions of the bicycle company proprietor before you set out.
Of course, you're still lucky. Further north, beyond beautiful downtown Sausalito, it was high tide and there was also flooding from Hurricane Helene, streets under water with alligators swimming into people's front yards, trailer parks, and refuse pits. A very real danger of malaria, if the Cajuns, reptiles, and Marin County hippies didn't get you first.
The North American alligator can grow up to five hundred pounds (roughly the weight of an adult redneck breeding couple) and live for four or five decades. They have big glowing eyes and can see in the dark, or disappear into the shrubbery if they sense a threatening aura.
They eat shivering foreign tourists for breakfast.
Yummy! Tastes like chicken!
The boogah boogah lives out there.
It's a jungle.
Note the banana for scale in the picture above.
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