PUMPKINS AND RABIES

According to nativists within the paranoid party, foreign gangsters have taken over important parts of Colorado, and people of colour are eating pet cats, dogs, ducks, and mutated giant lizards in Ohio. And we must do something about that! Save opportunities for all-American gangsters! Only lily white people should eat pets! Send in Kyle Rittenhouse!
Unmuzzle the Marjorie Taylor Greene!

In an ideal world, instead of being Republican idols over which mothers in Florida wet their panties, both of those cretins would be facing each other naked in a mud-wrestling pit.

No, I didn't watch the debate last night between the decomposing pumpkin and the human being. Better things to do. I may have picked my nose briefly during that time.

At some point I smoked my pipe and had a cup of tea.
As rational well balanced people do.


Elsewhere people were having self-induced fits of mouth-foaming.
Them shiftless furriners are stealing our jobs!
Think of the cats, and Colorado!
We could be eating that!
Outrageous!

The picture above has nothing to do with pets in Ohio or irresponsible slum landlords in Colorado, or anything that gives the Republicans orgasms such as we're celebrating today (nine eleven), but shows typhoon Yagi on the waterfront somewhere in Asia.
Finished it a day ago. Might as well share.

The accusation that some group that white people and Irish immigrants despise eats cats and dogs is a hoary trope that's been trotted out in every era, and used against everyone that allegedly civilized folks look down upon. And foreign criminals establishing little spheres of influence, that too. Why, here in san Francisco, in certain areas transplants from New York and Philadelphia have notoriously taken over pizza parlours, and I've heard that in some neighborhoods all you can get to eat is flavourless Midwestern and Southern food, with nothing but salt, pepper, and ranch dressing for spice. It's shocking, is what.

As a Dutch American, I am stupendously outraged at all those English speakers overrunning the place. Why, the Bowery and Staten Island are filled with them! Soon Michigan will have nothing but bangers, potatoes, and haggis! Personally, I blame Canada.

We should build a wall around California to keep Midwesterners, Southerners, and Canadians out. As well as Texans and the Irish. And anybody from Florida.
We've got our own problems. We don't need them bringing in more.
And we grow pumpkins here, so we don't need Trump.



No one here eats cats, dogs, or mutated giant lizards. You're thinking of frat boys.
They also eat babies. On a bet, when drunk.



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