Everytime I think of garlic butter baked sole (蒜茸焗龍脷飯 'suen yong guk long lei faan') a friend comes to mind. Not that he likes it -- he may, I just don't know -- but he was posted to Hong Kong for a few years and probably ate his lunch near the office in a chachanteng. It's likely one of the healthiest things on the menu there. Man does not live by baked porchop on a bed of tomato sauce spaghetti with a thick layer of gooey melted cheese on top alone.
Even though that will send you back up twenty stories of bamboo scaffolding and get you returned to your desk for another eight hours.
It's part of the Hong Kong weltanschaaung's gestalt: work hard, eat hard, loose a fortune at Happy Valley, then die three months after you've retired at age eighty.
Your viagra merchant will be heartbroken.
Mind you, I like melted cheese too, but I would prefer to combine it with bacon. On top of a hamburger patty. Perhaps on top of the baked rice with tomato sauce, with sambal on the side, and washed down with that big cup of heart-attack strength milk tea.
Which to the best of my knowledge a chachanteng doesn't do.
Even though they really should. In an ideal world.
The reason why that baked sole is healthy is because of the vegetable next to it for colour.
It's an important detail. Baked fish just looks rather bland by itself. One could achieve the same effect by spashing a chili paste garlic butter and wine reduction sauce around it -- also healthy -- but Hong People are still at the early stage of developing an affection for heat, so would shy away from something like that. Whereas some of us Dutch speakers are further progressed, final stage of chili fondness, darn well terminal.
The people at my favourite chachantengs know at this point that I will need Sriracha or that jar of sambal, and bring it without my even asking. At one place the lady is still somewhat appalled, but I think she accepts it as an eccentric Caucasian peculiarity. Smokes a pipe, speaks Cantonese, dumps hot goo on otherwise perfectly edible food.
But he doesn't talk about Jesus, so he's probably okay.
Might be insane. But so far not.
==========================================================================
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==========================================================================
At the back of the hill
Warning: May contain traces of soy, wheat, lecithin and tree nuts. That you are here
strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton.
And that you might like cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.
Thursday, February 20, 2025
Wednesday, February 19, 2025
ADD BACON AND SALT FISH, NOT CHEESE
If you salt simply cooked broccoli it tastes sweet. It also goes very well with salt fish (鹹魚 'haam yü'), to the same effect. Or bacon. I think I'll suggest that to the owners, because us old codgers benefit from increasing our vegetable intake. And we are their main demographic at lunch time. Their set lunches (choice of one of the three sets on the white board) appeal to a predominantly antique or elderly Cantonese clientele. Though in the section where I sat there were a young business couple, a younger woman whom I've seen there before who can't speak Chinese, and a young mother with her small child and a female friend.
Besides myself. And the elderly couple representing the main demographic.
Actually I don't identify as an 'old codger'.
Sprightly young codger.
So not mostly elderly Cantonese today.
After doing my shopping and errands following a post-lunch pipe I ended up at a bakery around tea time, where all three of the old American Chinese gentlemen were at the back table. It turns out that they are somewhat Trumpish. Which is disappointing. Given that Trump is not on their side no matter how many onions they tie to their belt.
Or used to, back in the day. Of course I should mention that they are considerable older than myself. And by comparison, I am but a sprout. Which was proven when I was outside later lighting up, when a young lady gave me the most radiant happy smile from less than three feet away.
Unfortunately she may not have even been four years old, and less than half my height. So she may have mistook me for Father Christmas's younger brother or something.
Evenso. She was radiant, happy, and quite adorable.
There's hope for the old fart yet.
While shopping I bought some fruits for my downstairs neighbor the old Indonesian Chinese lady who lives in the front street-side apartment. Snowpear (雪梨 'suet lei') and tangerine (橘子 'gwat ji'). She probably needs broccoli (西蘭菜 'sei laan choi') and bacon or salt fish.
But she's weird about food. Almost white in that regard.
And you know how those people are.
==========================================================================
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==========================================================================
Besides myself. And the elderly couple representing the main demographic.
Actually I don't identify as an 'old codger'.
Sprightly young codger.
So not mostly elderly Cantonese today.
After doing my shopping and errands following a post-lunch pipe I ended up at a bakery around tea time, where all three of the old American Chinese gentlemen were at the back table. It turns out that they are somewhat Trumpish. Which is disappointing. Given that Trump is not on their side no matter how many onions they tie to their belt.
Or used to, back in the day. Of course I should mention that they are considerable older than myself. And by comparison, I am but a sprout. Which was proven when I was outside later lighting up, when a young lady gave me the most radiant happy smile from less than three feet away.
Unfortunately she may not have even been four years old, and less than half my height. So she may have mistook me for Father Christmas's younger brother or something.
Evenso. She was radiant, happy, and quite adorable.
There's hope for the old fart yet.
While shopping I bought some fruits for my downstairs neighbor the old Indonesian Chinese lady who lives in the front street-side apartment. Snowpear (雪梨 'suet lei') and tangerine (橘子 'gwat ji'). She probably needs broccoli (西蘭菜 'sei laan choi') and bacon or salt fish.
But she's weird about food. Almost white in that regard.
And you know how those people are.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
BANANAS FOR SCALE TOO!
If you voted for Trump, you are a worse traitor than Lindsey Graham. Unfortunately, because of where I work, I must come into contact with people like that regularly.
"US President Donald Trump's administration is attempting to rehire officials with the US Department of Agriculture (USDA) who worked on the government response to bird flu before being fired over the weekend, US media report."
Source: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cjev24184vjo -- Trump administration trying to rehire USDA bird flu officials it fired
"Ukrainian authorities expressed dissatisfaction over not being part of Tuesday's talks in Riyadh. But Trump dismissed these concerns, telling reporters that Ukraine had had three years to end the war, before appearing to blame Kyiv for starting the conflict. "You should have never started it," he said."
Source: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c9814k2jlxko -- Fact-checking Trump claims about war in Ukraine
By the way: none of his appointees are qualified for the job, several of them are outright fascists and nazis, and too many of them have skeletons rattling in their closets like alcoholism, drug addiction, and criminal histories.
But you're "owning the libs", right?
Does it feel good? Just remember, there's no such thing as climate change, DEI prevents simple honest people from getting hired, vaccines are all a conspiracy and contain nanochips, and all those big city folks are too arrogant and people just don't want to work anymore dammit what is this world coming to? AND they're taking your jobs!
In the election four months ago you shot yourself in the feet, both of them, and then took a victory lap screaming "America! America!" You should feel good about that.
This is the greatest country on earth!
You are all champions!
==========================================================================
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LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
"US President Donald Trump's administration is attempting to rehire officials with the US Department of Agriculture (USDA) who worked on the government response to bird flu before being fired over the weekend, US media report."
Source: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cjev24184vjo -- Trump administration trying to rehire USDA bird flu officials it fired
"Ukrainian authorities expressed dissatisfaction over not being part of Tuesday's talks in Riyadh. But Trump dismissed these concerns, telling reporters that Ukraine had had three years to end the war, before appearing to blame Kyiv for starting the conflict. "You should have never started it," he said."
Source: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c9814k2jlxko -- Fact-checking Trump claims about war in Ukraine
By the way: none of his appointees are qualified for the job, several of them are outright fascists and nazis, and too many of them have skeletons rattling in their closets like alcoholism, drug addiction, and criminal histories.
But you're "owning the libs", right?
Does it feel good? Just remember, there's no such thing as climate change, DEI prevents simple honest people from getting hired, vaccines are all a conspiracy and contain nanochips, and all those big city folks are too arrogant and people just don't want to work anymore dammit what is this world coming to? AND they're taking your jobs!
In the election four months ago you shot yourself in the feet, both of them, and then took a victory lap screaming "America! America!" You should feel good about that.
This is the greatest country on earth!
You are all champions!
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
IT'S A COLLAGE
Apparently, doing my laundry AND having lunch at my usual Wednesday place will take gumption. Or so I have been told, by a gentleman who will be a prisoner in his own home tomorrow. Not, as you might think, because this is San Francisco and dominatrix perversions are involved -- we're well known for stuff like that -- but because he is expecting an artwork which UPS has informed him will get there before seven in the evening.
It has been years since he has had lunch. Reason being that his work schedule does not permit doing so at a sensible hour, which I'm not quite sure is what. I believe he has a pint instead, two or three hours before his shift ends. Having sustained himself during the hours before with scone and a hyper-caffeinated beverage.
For me, lunch is always after three in the afternoon if I can help it. On days off sometimes after four. Because my Wednesday lunch place is closed by then, I will head there before two, and we'll call it breakfast.
Today's lunch (breakfast) was at five thirty. After teatime.
Minced beef rice (牛肉免治飯 'ngau yiuk min ji faan').
Very Hong Kong. With a cup of strong milk tea.
Fortification for the howling beast.
Followed by a smoke. A few hours later I was back in Chinatown waiting for my friend (the no-lunch fellow) to get off shift and start his weekend with our customary pub visits. And again I was smoking a pipe. It wasn't particularly cold out, so the number of unbalanced individuals floating by was greater than the last time. Among which I'll include a shopkeeper who unlocked his store so that he and a friend could have a few drinks without the wives knowing, surrounded by the staring eyes of Hello Kitty all around them. Which, I think, would drive me insane.
We could hear country western squawks coming from the karaoke joint, so we ended up at the back-up bar, where three Toishanese gentlemen to our right were engaged in animated conversation, and half a dozen young fellows behind us were having Irish carbombs.
You know, I still can't understand Toishanese.
It's a failing, I know.
When we headed to the bus stop, a crazed white chick strode past, loudly complaining about something in her head and someone else being in the hospital. She was underdressed from the waist down, and not feeling it. Which is very San Francisco.
For some reason I remembered Amou Haji.
It had been a good evening.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
It has been years since he has had lunch. Reason being that his work schedule does not permit doing so at a sensible hour, which I'm not quite sure is what. I believe he has a pint instead, two or three hours before his shift ends. Having sustained himself during the hours before with scone and a hyper-caffeinated beverage.
For me, lunch is always after three in the afternoon if I can help it. On days off sometimes after four. Because my Wednesday lunch place is closed by then, I will head there before two, and we'll call it breakfast.
Today's lunch (breakfast) was at five thirty. After teatime.
Minced beef rice (牛肉免治飯 'ngau yiuk min ji faan').
Very Hong Kong. With a cup of strong milk tea.
Fortification for the howling beast.
Followed by a smoke. A few hours later I was back in Chinatown waiting for my friend (the no-lunch fellow) to get off shift and start his weekend with our customary pub visits. And again I was smoking a pipe. It wasn't particularly cold out, so the number of unbalanced individuals floating by was greater than the last time. Among which I'll include a shopkeeper who unlocked his store so that he and a friend could have a few drinks without the wives knowing, surrounded by the staring eyes of Hello Kitty all around them. Which, I think, would drive me insane.
We could hear country western squawks coming from the karaoke joint, so we ended up at the back-up bar, where three Toishanese gentlemen to our right were engaged in animated conversation, and half a dozen young fellows behind us were having Irish carbombs.
You know, I still can't understand Toishanese.
It's a failing, I know.
When we headed to the bus stop, a crazed white chick strode past, loudly complaining about something in her head and someone else being in the hospital. She was underdressed from the waist down, and not feeling it. Which is very San Francisco.
For some reason I remembered Amou Haji.
It had been a good evening.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Tuesday, February 18, 2025
THAT'S OKAY, WE SPEAK ENGLISH
When I woke up shortly after one to answer the call of nature I was in a cheerful mood, and ended up having a quarrel with an old friend in Israel over the nature of America and what I really feel about the red states. Which is more or less black and unprintable. He has a more sunny rightwing hippie point of view -- with which I disagree, of course -- influenced largely by events in his part of the world. A form of blinkered worldview which is thoroughly understandable, even if meshune to the point of stark raving bonkers.
He too is a liberal. Liberalish. There are limitations.
And he still likes the Grateful Dead.
Which with I cannot agree.
They suck.
This morning when my apartment mate came bounding out of her room filled with vim and vigour I was asleep again. But the insistent spam calls on my cellphone awakened me, and groggily I answered the third or fourth one with a snarl in Cantonese on speaker phone. To which she contributed. The poor little Indian phone centre drooge probably did not realize that the two languages he heard were not the same. My civilized urban Cantonese, as is most likely spoken by the Masonic conspiracy, versus her Toishanese which is the native tongue of hundreds of thousands of stubborn pissy people who defy the frightful peasants in the interior of America to dish up Kung Pao and General Tzo to a closeminded demographic that seemingly hates everything outside of their narrow transplantee Ulster Anglo ken.
Except cheap food with colours, sweetness, and grease.
Afterwards she suggested that I throw in the phrase 'Satanic blood ritual' to up the ante a bit. Which is 撒但嘅血儀式 ('saat taan ge huet yi sik') in Cantonese, and in any case completely opaque to nice little Hindustani thieves and extortionists in the heart of Gujustan.
It was a perky suggestion. Both of us hate perky.
She does not realize that when she is wide awake she is the epitome of perky.
I told her that if it were in English, the only way the spam-dude would understand it would be if it were enunciated clearly, which would alert him to our actually being able to speak English very well. A completely countrproductive result, you will agree. In the afternoon yesterday I headed out with two pipes and a pounch of aged Virginia to have lunch and smoke. She was home all day, because it was a holiday, which kind of cramped my style. I decided that given the cold it was a perfect chance to go have claypot rice at a place which specializes in that. Where they speak both Cantonese and Toishanwaa.
All the claypot rice dishes are listed on the wall in Chinese, from which I selected one that reflected both the HK claypot rice paradigm perfectly as well as the home-town Cantonese gestalt: 咸魚肉餅煲仔飯 ('haam yü yiuk beng pou jai faan'). Pork patty with a wedge of salt fish on top of the rice. The claypot gives a nicely crackly bottom to the rice, the combined fragrances perfume the puffed-up grains, the enclosed heat perfectly cooks the pork.
Two techo-geeks at other tables were eating claypot rice while reading their cell-phones.
I noticed that the Caucasian girl with the Chinese boyfriend were each having claypot rice, the two Mandarin-speaking young ladies who later came in did too, the grumpy aged peasant couple likewise. The only person not doing so was the elderly American-born fellow near the window, probably because he couldn't read the specials on the wall. Everyone there seemed to enjoy their food, but one thing that struck me was that though quite busy, the restaurant wasn't typically noisy. What in Chinese is referred to as re nao (熱鬧 'yit naau'). If I had gone to a chachanteng as I originally intended, it would have been lively to the point of headpain with the same number of people. The Chinese have a great tolerance for cacaphony.
Enjoying clay pot rice is necessary down time.
Shut up, I'm eating.
Smoking my pipe later was extremely enjoyable. The alleyways a little further downhill were pleasant, although one of them looked like a garbage dump from the trash that the mahjong parlours put there; the only two businesses that pay for refuse service are the flower shop and the hair salon.
The title of this post is the phrase that all Americans hear when attempting to speak Dutch in the Netherlands: "That's okay, we speak English". Because of how English speakers usually massacre other languages. A good friend will hear it a lot over the next several months.
She's moving there. Today. I wish her luck.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
He too is a liberal. Liberalish. There are limitations.
And he still likes the Grateful Dead.
Which with I cannot agree.
They suck.
This morning when my apartment mate came bounding out of her room filled with vim and vigour I was asleep again. But the insistent spam calls on my cellphone awakened me, and groggily I answered the third or fourth one with a snarl in Cantonese on speaker phone. To which she contributed. The poor little Indian phone centre drooge probably did not realize that the two languages he heard were not the same. My civilized urban Cantonese, as is most likely spoken by the Masonic conspiracy, versus her Toishanese which is the native tongue of hundreds of thousands of stubborn pissy people who defy the frightful peasants in the interior of America to dish up Kung Pao and General Tzo to a closeminded demographic that seemingly hates everything outside of their narrow transplantee Ulster Anglo ken.
Except cheap food with colours, sweetness, and grease.
Afterwards she suggested that I throw in the phrase 'Satanic blood ritual' to up the ante a bit. Which is 撒但嘅血儀式 ('saat taan ge huet yi sik') in Cantonese, and in any case completely opaque to nice little Hindustani thieves and extortionists in the heart of Gujustan.
It was a perky suggestion. Both of us hate perky.
She does not realize that when she is wide awake she is the epitome of perky.
I told her that if it were in English, the only way the spam-dude would understand it would be if it were enunciated clearly, which would alert him to our actually being able to speak English very well. A completely countrproductive result, you will agree. In the afternoon yesterday I headed out with two pipes and a pounch of aged Virginia to have lunch and smoke. She was home all day, because it was a holiday, which kind of cramped my style. I decided that given the cold it was a perfect chance to go have claypot rice at a place which specializes in that. Where they speak both Cantonese and Toishanwaa.
All the claypot rice dishes are listed on the wall in Chinese, from which I selected one that reflected both the HK claypot rice paradigm perfectly as well as the home-town Cantonese gestalt: 咸魚肉餅煲仔飯 ('haam yü yiuk beng pou jai faan'). Pork patty with a wedge of salt fish on top of the rice. The claypot gives a nicely crackly bottom to the rice, the combined fragrances perfume the puffed-up grains, the enclosed heat perfectly cooks the pork.
Two techo-geeks at other tables were eating claypot rice while reading their cell-phones.
I noticed that the Caucasian girl with the Chinese boyfriend were each having claypot rice, the two Mandarin-speaking young ladies who later came in did too, the grumpy aged peasant couple likewise. The only person not doing so was the elderly American-born fellow near the window, probably because he couldn't read the specials on the wall. Everyone there seemed to enjoy their food, but one thing that struck me was that though quite busy, the restaurant wasn't typically noisy. What in Chinese is referred to as re nao (熱鬧 'yit naau'). If I had gone to a chachanteng as I originally intended, it would have been lively to the point of headpain with the same number of people. The Chinese have a great tolerance for cacaphony.
Enjoying clay pot rice is necessary down time.
Shut up, I'm eating.
Smoking my pipe later was extremely enjoyable. The alleyways a little further downhill were pleasant, although one of them looked like a garbage dump from the trash that the mahjong parlours put there; the only two businesses that pay for refuse service are the flower shop and the hair salon.
The title of this post is the phrase that all Americans hear when attempting to speak Dutch in the Netherlands: "That's okay, we speak English". Because of how English speakers usually massacre other languages. A good friend will hear it a lot over the next several months.
She's moving there. Today. I wish her luck.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Monday, February 17, 2025
DON'T SAY GRACE
The great thing about the arid zone is that it insulates us from the chuckleheads in the Midwest, and South. Some of whom I actually like, but keep in mind that I assiduously curate my social circles, and had cut "good Christians" (bigots and morons) entirely out years ago. To the best of my knowledge there are no Alabamans, Floridans, Georgians, Ozarkians, or folks from Mississippi and Tennessee among my friends, although there are one or two Carolinians connected with the tobacco trade, some Midwesterners, an ex-Georgian who used to be a reference-librarian, as well as a Texan from Marin-county, who is actually remarkably sane despite being entirely out of touch with reality.
[Also, very few people employed by the Federal Government. Although one person whom I did not see yesterday is, and I'm wondering if he still has a job. None of my relatives, with whom I keep in occasional contact, is federal.]
From the Central Valley eastward, it's nearly two thousand miles to Home Simpson territory. It's about four dollars a gallon for gas. And there are mountains.
Actually, that also insulates them from me. I'd dump Sriracha chilisauce into the grits and chuck the Chicago deep-dish pizza onto the compost heap. From Kari Lake to the Cumberland Gap it's almost nothing but inbreds, mental defectives, religious types, and illiterates. With a considerable overlap.
In parts of the country, sexually transmitted diseases are often a family affair.
Besides measles, fungal infections, and tuberculosis.
Their fat little heads sit on their fat little bodies without a bit of connection.
Their food is awful, they talk funny there, and there are pick-up trucks on cinderblocks in the driveway. Except Mississippi, where they can't afford cinderblocks, so they stole milk crates from the local Piggly Wiggly.
==========================================================================
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LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
[Also, very few people employed by the Federal Government. Although one person whom I did not see yesterday is, and I'm wondering if he still has a job. None of my relatives, with whom I keep in occasional contact, is federal.]
From the Central Valley eastward, it's nearly two thousand miles to Home Simpson territory. It's about four dollars a gallon for gas. And there are mountains.
Actually, that also insulates them from me. I'd dump Sriracha chilisauce into the grits and chuck the Chicago deep-dish pizza onto the compost heap. From Kari Lake to the Cumberland Gap it's almost nothing but inbreds, mental defectives, religious types, and illiterates. With a considerable overlap.
In parts of the country, sexually transmitted diseases are often a family affair.
Besides measles, fungal infections, and tuberculosis.
Their fat little heads sit on their fat little bodies without a bit of connection.
Their food is awful, they talk funny there, and there are pick-up trucks on cinderblocks in the driveway. Except Mississippi, where they can't afford cinderblocks, so they stole milk crates from the local Piggly Wiggly.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Sunday, February 16, 2025
THE GATHERING
Remember, I am not a particularly social person. Which may explain why I am still a pipesmoker, and have remained single since my break-up years ago.
Pipesmoking, as you undoubtedly realize, is not a social activity.
Nor endearing to the fairer sex.
I do not endear.
Today was consequently a little trying. I could easily ignore the rancid old Magaites drooling and gibbering in the back room -- all they need, really, is carrion and a teevee -- but when the gentleman from Shanghai and his adult daughter and son came in we ended up talking for over two hours. A pipesmoker, keenly interested in the environment in which we were. He did not know many pipesmokers in Shanghai, it was mostly a private pursuit. He liked Latakia blends, knew about the Scandinavian Tobacco Group's recent purchase of MacBarens/Sutliff (which means that the spectrum be reduced to a mere fraction (four hundred plus distinctly different products down to about a dozen), was reasonably familiar with the outside world despite not speaking English, somewhat acquainted with zhuan shu (篆書 sealscript) as well the full forms of many characters. A very good thing, as my ability in Mandarin is poor and haphazard; his daughter (a very nice person) was a capable translator when necessary.
He was glad to be there, as I was glad he had discovered the place.
I hope I see him again next year when he visits his daughter again. Shortly after the three of them left, the pipe club members started trickling in. We had not seen each other since two weeks before the inaugeration. We all share much the same opinions about the subsequent actions and appointees. At one point I casually reminded Nick, who is in his eighties, of the time a young lady was so taken by his elfin charm (he's in his eighties, but cute looking with sparkling eyes that reflect his puckish personality) that she hopped onto his lap and stuck her tongue in his ear. Startling, and memorable. Nick smokes aged Virginias and fine flakes, as do I. Neil, who had provided two nice pâtés, tends to sometimes indulge in those, but usually puffs medium to full Latakia mixtures. We agree on some of the limited edition C&D flakes, as well as Palmetto Balkan, which proves overwhelmingly that Jeremy Reeves is an absolute genius.
Bernard, another gentleman, and I discussed African wildlife. He agrees with me that it's a jolly good thing that honey badgers have neither opposable thumbs nor the ability to form complete sentences. If man had to compete with them, we'd lose.
Altogether about a dozen pipe smokers, several tobaccos, at least two bottles of wine, and good cheese in addition to the pâté.
So it was a succesful pipe club meeting. And the members had a good time.
As did I. But I am not a social person, and am a bit frazzled.
And my right foot is painful and twitching.
Tomorrow will be quieter.
Perhaps a few bland sentences about food. After a few days of being twirling mister charm surrounded by Orcs in the salt flats I probably need that. I really must stress that I am not a very social person. Nor like Gandalf in any way. You might mistakenly assume otherwise.
And I am certainly not a blasted Hobbit.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Pipesmoking, as you undoubtedly realize, is not a social activity.
Nor endearing to the fairer sex.
I do not endear.
Today was consequently a little trying. I could easily ignore the rancid old Magaites drooling and gibbering in the back room -- all they need, really, is carrion and a teevee -- but when the gentleman from Shanghai and his adult daughter and son came in we ended up talking for over two hours. A pipesmoker, keenly interested in the environment in which we were. He did not know many pipesmokers in Shanghai, it was mostly a private pursuit. He liked Latakia blends, knew about the Scandinavian Tobacco Group's recent purchase of MacBarens/Sutliff (which means that the spectrum be reduced to a mere fraction (four hundred plus distinctly different products down to about a dozen), was reasonably familiar with the outside world despite not speaking English, somewhat acquainted with zhuan shu (篆書 sealscript) as well the full forms of many characters. A very good thing, as my ability in Mandarin is poor and haphazard; his daughter (a very nice person) was a capable translator when necessary.
He was glad to be there, as I was glad he had discovered the place.
I hope I see him again next year when he visits his daughter again. Shortly after the three of them left, the pipe club members started trickling in. We had not seen each other since two weeks before the inaugeration. We all share much the same opinions about the subsequent actions and appointees. At one point I casually reminded Nick, who is in his eighties, of the time a young lady was so taken by his elfin charm (he's in his eighties, but cute looking with sparkling eyes that reflect his puckish personality) that she hopped onto his lap and stuck her tongue in his ear. Startling, and memorable. Nick smokes aged Virginias and fine flakes, as do I. Neil, who had provided two nice pâtés, tends to sometimes indulge in those, but usually puffs medium to full Latakia mixtures. We agree on some of the limited edition C&D flakes, as well as Palmetto Balkan, which proves overwhelmingly that Jeremy Reeves is an absolute genius.
Bernard, another gentleman, and I discussed African wildlife. He agrees with me that it's a jolly good thing that honey badgers have neither opposable thumbs nor the ability to form complete sentences. If man had to compete with them, we'd lose.
Altogether about a dozen pipe smokers, several tobaccos, at least two bottles of wine, and good cheese in addition to the pâté.
So it was a succesful pipe club meeting. And the members had a good time.
As did I. But I am not a social person, and am a bit frazzled.
And my right foot is painful and twitching.
Tomorrow will be quieter.
Perhaps a few bland sentences about food. After a few days of being twirling mister charm surrounded by Orcs in the salt flats I probably need that. I really must stress that I am not a very social person. Nor like Gandalf in any way. You might mistakenly assume otherwise.
And I am certainly not a blasted Hobbit.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Saturday, February 15, 2025
THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING!
Imagine a television quiz show featuring intoxicated Australians. Foster's Lager, shrimp on the barbie, and large personal knives as well as crocodiles.
The grand prize: a lifetime supply of Vegemite.
Of course Aussies would be contestants.
And only Aussies, no one else.
Remember, they're drunk.
Rapid fire questions.
What's the capital of Australia?
"Kangaroo!"
What insect flies over the mudflats?
"Kangaroo!"
What green fruit is harvested in orchards?
"Kangaroo!"
Australian Academy Award winner?
"Kangaroo!"
Square root of ...
"Kangaroo!"
American President?
"Kangaroo!"
As it turns out, kangaroo dude is the winner. And gets awarded that lifetime supply of rancid kangaroo paste. The audience erupts in wild cheering. The show becomes a run-away hit.
==========================================================================
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All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
The grand prize: a lifetime supply of Vegemite.
Of course Aussies would be contestants.
And only Aussies, no one else.
Remember, they're drunk.
Rapid fire questions.
What's the capital of Australia?
"Kangaroo!"
What insect flies over the mudflats?
"Kangaroo!"
What green fruit is harvested in orchards?
"Kangaroo!"
Australian Academy Award winner?
"Kangaroo!"
Square root of ...
"Kangaroo!"
American President?
"Kangaroo!"
As it turns out, kangaroo dude is the winner. And gets awarded that lifetime supply of rancid kangaroo paste. The audience erupts in wild cheering. The show becomes a run-away hit.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
THE MISSING DINNER
One of the dishes that I haven't had in around four years is Baked Portuguese Chicken Rice. Which should be cooked chicken with mild coconut curry sauce, and preferably a large piece or two of pan-gilded Linguiça plus potato chunks, on a bed of egg fried rice, bunged under the broiler and served piping hot in the oven-proof dish. It's a balance.
And totally great with Sriracha or sambal oelek.
There may be some melted cheese on top.
It isn't pretentious, but it's good chachanteng chow. Problem is that the few chachantengs in this part of the city do not do it. At least not anything like how it's supposed to be done.
焗葡國雞飯
A chachanteng is the kind of place that local neighborhood folks go to where they can be themselves, get a quick comforting meal, swill Hong Kong milk tea, read the racing page, and not worry about appearances. Flip flops totally can.
Also, it's kind of noisy. And there might be eccentrics. Or kids.
It's a guarantee that there is Spam on the premises. Having worked in restaurants, I have my own ideas about fine places to eat. So it's probably a darn good thing that I'm not dating anyone, because on Valentine's Day (yesterday) I'd take them to a neighborhood place where the food is good albeit somewhat pedestrian, the staff is engaging and businesslike, the tables are clean, the lighting is bright rather than mood or romantic, and there is hot sauce on every table. Not. A. Single. Red. Rose. In. Sight.
At a chachanteng you do not have to jump through hoops to get a reservation for Valentine's Day or any other holiday. They don't take reservations. Show up, inform them however many people you are (幾位?), and get whatever you want on the menu. If you wish to propose to her on bended knee, that's entirely up to you, but everyone else there will look at you funny. And if you show up with a giant bunch of red, red roses, both of you dressed to impress, the other customers may assume that you missed out on a much more pretentious expensive restaurant due to bad planning, or that you are goofy as well as cheap.
A good woman likes her tucker. As well as a cup of milk tea.
There is no champagne. You want bubbles? Boba.
The true romantic and perfect lover thinks that his woman is absolutely adorable slurping a frosty tapioca ball drink. If that's what she want to do. Trust me. Adorable.
As you can tell, I really miss Portuguese chicken rice.
==========================================================================
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LETTER BOX.
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==========================================================================
And totally great with Sriracha or sambal oelek.
There may be some melted cheese on top.
It isn't pretentious, but it's good chachanteng chow. Problem is that the few chachantengs in this part of the city do not do it. At least not anything like how it's supposed to be done.
焗葡國雞飯
A chachanteng is the kind of place that local neighborhood folks go to where they can be themselves, get a quick comforting meal, swill Hong Kong milk tea, read the racing page, and not worry about appearances. Flip flops totally can.
Also, it's kind of noisy. And there might be eccentrics. Or kids.
It's a guarantee that there is Spam on the premises. Having worked in restaurants, I have my own ideas about fine places to eat. So it's probably a darn good thing that I'm not dating anyone, because on Valentine's Day (yesterday) I'd take them to a neighborhood place where the food is good albeit somewhat pedestrian, the staff is engaging and businesslike, the tables are clean, the lighting is bright rather than mood or romantic, and there is hot sauce on every table. Not. A. Single. Red. Rose. In. Sight.
At a chachanteng you do not have to jump through hoops to get a reservation for Valentine's Day or any other holiday. They don't take reservations. Show up, inform them however many people you are (幾位?), and get whatever you want on the menu. If you wish to propose to her on bended knee, that's entirely up to you, but everyone else there will look at you funny. And if you show up with a giant bunch of red, red roses, both of you dressed to impress, the other customers may assume that you missed out on a much more pretentious expensive restaurant due to bad planning, or that you are goofy as well as cheap.
A good woman likes her tucker. As well as a cup of milk tea.
There is no champagne. You want bubbles? Boba.
The true romantic and perfect lover thinks that his woman is absolutely adorable slurping a frosty tapioca ball drink. If that's what she want to do. Trust me. Adorable.
As you can tell, I really miss Portuguese chicken rice.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Friday, February 14, 2025
THE EMPTY TOOLBOX
Being sceptical is intellectually healthy. Provided that there actually is an intellect there. And that it's fully loaded with tools. What's obvious is that most of this country is mind-blowingly stupid. Trump's supporters prove that.
The confirmation of RFK Jr. once again confirms that we share this country with Very. Stupid. People. We already knew that; it's why Trump go elected. Twice. But it's absolutely undeniable. No, they didn't get conned or "played". They are just Very. Stupid. People.
But not just stupid. They're self-centered, greedy, entitled, and full of hatred for everyone.
Basically, the entire country is like Tommy Tuberville's constituancy.
Chuckleheaded, inbred, and vicious.
So it's probably a good thing that we're going to hell in a handbasket.
The American Century is over, there's little to redeem. The last few weeks I've been listening to Kurt Weill and Bertold Brecht a lot. Stuff that dates from the Germany that disappeared with Hitler, but has remained timeless, and appropriate for any age of mass stupidity.
Assuming, of course, that you understand German.
Many Americans don't even know English.
A series of caveman grunts.
Their version.
Y'all.
==========================================================================
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LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
The confirmation of RFK Jr. once again confirms that we share this country with Very. Stupid. People. We already knew that; it's why Trump go elected. Twice. But it's absolutely undeniable. No, they didn't get conned or "played". They are just Very. Stupid. People.
But not just stupid. They're self-centered, greedy, entitled, and full of hatred for everyone.
Basically, the entire country is like Tommy Tuberville's constituancy.
Chuckleheaded, inbred, and vicious.
So it's probably a good thing that we're going to hell in a handbasket.
The American Century is over, there's little to redeem. The last few weeks I've been listening to Kurt Weill and Bertold Brecht a lot. Stuff that dates from the Germany that disappeared with Hitler, but has remained timeless, and appropriate for any age of mass stupidity.
Assuming, of course, that you understand German.
Many Americans don't even know English.
A series of caveman grunts.
Their version.
Y'all.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Thursday, February 13, 2025
STRIKE THE LITTLE MAN
One of the things that would really make San Francisco a world-class metropolis is catering to the vengeful instincts of the modern urban man. Or woman. Such as old ladies who, for a minimal fee, will curse your enemies or coworkers that you have grievances toward. And it seems to me that in precisely that way a number of elderly women among the local community would be gainfully and usefully employed.
打你個死個頭!
A friend says that he regularly had that done, when he was living in Hong Kong. It made him feel better, and by framing the requests he made in a very focused way he was able to come to the United States over thirty years ago and start a succesful computer repair business. He wishes that the same service was available here, as it's nearly time to retire and he wants a bigger house and a new car.
In Hong Kong you can find these useful civil functionaries near the Canal Road Flyover (堅拿道天橋) right around Hennessy Road, conveniently close to fine lunch opportunities so that you may have a quick meal afterwards. Present them with data (names, age, gender, and more, like for instance a recent photo) plus the right amount of cash (no credit cards, no Apple Pay) and they will strike it fiercely with an old shoe till the paper rips, uttering imprecations and bad luck wishes.
[Hennessy Road (軒尼詩道) runs east to west through Wanchai (灣仔). Right around the Causeway Bay area (銅鑼灣) is where the Canal Road Flyover (堅拿道天橋) crosses Hennessy, easily reachable by public transport. The weeks leading up to the equinox, which is when hibernating insects awaken (驚蟄 'king jat') are the best time of year for this enterprise.]
There is obviously very good reason for that part of Hong Kong being the most expensive commercial rent zone on the planet. Valuable business services! Imagine combining your break with improving the world. Here in San Francisco, you would probably write down things like the make of the car and the license plate number of the idiot who parked in a handicap zone or the driveway of your building, such as the morons who go to the donut place at all hours or need to have a drink at local bars to make their lives perfect. Or the people plonked in the bus lanes during rush hour.
打小人
Also the two funguses who park their Tesla wankpanzers on Grant Avenue.
And several political figures, including President Musk.
The entire damned Republican Party.
==========================================================================
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LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
打你個死個頭!
A friend says that he regularly had that done, when he was living in Hong Kong. It made him feel better, and by framing the requests he made in a very focused way he was able to come to the United States over thirty years ago and start a succesful computer repair business. He wishes that the same service was available here, as it's nearly time to retire and he wants a bigger house and a new car.
In Hong Kong you can find these useful civil functionaries near the Canal Road Flyover (堅拿道天橋) right around Hennessy Road, conveniently close to fine lunch opportunities so that you may have a quick meal afterwards. Present them with data (names, age, gender, and more, like for instance a recent photo) plus the right amount of cash (no credit cards, no Apple Pay) and they will strike it fiercely with an old shoe till the paper rips, uttering imprecations and bad luck wishes.
[Hennessy Road (軒尼詩道) runs east to west through Wanchai (灣仔). Right around the Causeway Bay area (銅鑼灣) is where the Canal Road Flyover (堅拿道天橋) crosses Hennessy, easily reachable by public transport. The weeks leading up to the equinox, which is when hibernating insects awaken (驚蟄 'king jat') are the best time of year for this enterprise.]
There is obviously very good reason for that part of Hong Kong being the most expensive commercial rent zone on the planet. Valuable business services! Imagine combining your break with improving the world. Here in San Francisco, you would probably write down things like the make of the car and the license plate number of the idiot who parked in a handicap zone or the driveway of your building, such as the morons who go to the donut place at all hours or need to have a drink at local bars to make their lives perfect. Or the people plonked in the bus lanes during rush hour.
打小人
Also the two funguses who park their Tesla wankpanzers on Grant Avenue.
And several political figures, including President Musk.
The entire damned Republican Party.
==========================================================================
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LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
LET US NOT SPEAK OF SUCH THINGS
The one thing I have do today that requires leaving shelter is picking up more latanoprost. Which means being in the middle of the deluge. So I might as well have lunch while doing it. And it's a good thing that A) I have a thick coat and a sturdy umbrella, and B) there are at least three awnings over empty storefronts within two blocks of the pharmacy.
Yes, I could shelter during in the area in front of the hospital where the pharmacy is located, part of which is recessed. But that would mean being more social than I would normally wish to be, and not smoking my pipe while there.
For me, one of the great functions of Chinatown is as a place to smoke without Karenesque mostly Caucasian earthmothers yelling at me for killing butterflies and little kittens.
A life avoiding the Karenesque Caucasian earthmothers is a good life.
An excellent reason to avoid yoga studios and vegan restaurants.
An added benefit is that it's nowhere near the flood zone.
On a slope, well above sealevel. It strikes me that one cannot have a civilized conversation with a person keen to show off what an unique, caring, and artistic individual they are, and lecture people about kale, apple cider vinegar, and manuka honey. Which is why the sensible person avoids karaoke joints (erm, I don't follow my own advice there, because I like watching disasters unfold) as well as many coffee shops (poets, writers, deep thinkers, and more unique individuals than you can shake a stick at).
At a Cantonese bakery one seldom runs into totally unique individuals. The patrons are usually there primarily for snackipoos and hot beverages (港式奶茶 'gong sik naai chaa'), secondarily to be undisturbed by creative types. Leave me alone, you crazy bozo, I am snarfing a cocktail bun (雞尾包 'kai mei baau'), I don't know a damned thing about kale (羽衣甘藍 'yu yi gam laan') or gluten (麵筋 'min kan'), besides, everything here probably has gluten anyway, and your meaningful tattoos are really quite appalling (睇到眼都可反感 'tai dou ngaan dou ho faan gam').
In short: Het spijt mij, ik wens niet met u te spreken over die dingen.
Zoals velen hier bent u waarschijnlijk hardstikke dwaas.
Mijn sterrenbeeld gaat u geen klap aan.
對唔住,我唔想同你講呢啲嘢。
同呢度好多人一樣,你可能完全黐線。
我嘅星座唔關你事。
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Yes, I could shelter during in the area in front of the hospital where the pharmacy is located, part of which is recessed. But that would mean being more social than I would normally wish to be, and not smoking my pipe while there.
For me, one of the great functions of Chinatown is as a place to smoke without Karenesque mostly Caucasian earthmothers yelling at me for killing butterflies and little kittens.
A life avoiding the Karenesque Caucasian earthmothers is a good life.
An excellent reason to avoid yoga studios and vegan restaurants.
An added benefit is that it's nowhere near the flood zone.
On a slope, well above sealevel. It strikes me that one cannot have a civilized conversation with a person keen to show off what an unique, caring, and artistic individual they are, and lecture people about kale, apple cider vinegar, and manuka honey. Which is why the sensible person avoids karaoke joints (erm, I don't follow my own advice there, because I like watching disasters unfold) as well as many coffee shops (poets, writers, deep thinkers, and more unique individuals than you can shake a stick at).
At a Cantonese bakery one seldom runs into totally unique individuals. The patrons are usually there primarily for snackipoos and hot beverages (港式奶茶 'gong sik naai chaa'), secondarily to be undisturbed by creative types. Leave me alone, you crazy bozo, I am snarfing a cocktail bun (雞尾包 'kai mei baau'), I don't know a damned thing about kale (羽衣甘藍 'yu yi gam laan') or gluten (麵筋 'min kan'), besides, everything here probably has gluten anyway, and your meaningful tattoos are really quite appalling (睇到眼都可反感 'tai dou ngaan dou ho faan gam').
In short: Het spijt mij, ik wens niet met u te spreken over die dingen.
Zoals velen hier bent u waarschijnlijk hardstikke dwaas.
Mijn sterrenbeeld gaat u geen klap aan.
對唔住,我唔想同你講呢啲嘢。
同呢度好多人一樣,你可能完全黐線。
我嘅星座唔關你事。
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Wednesday, February 12, 2025
PLENTY OF THEM ON GRANT AVENUE
The problem with old people is that one of them doesn't listen and the other one is deaf as a post. The third is absent minded and grumbles. And I say this because I am better than two decades younger than all of them. Still, they are rather nice dudes. And on the whole fairly liberal. Cheap, crotchetty, strongly opinionated despite sometimes not having many clues what they are or should be opinionated about. But open minded secular humanists.
Which brings me to the lantern festival. Which today is. In Jakarta and Den Haag it's known as 十五暝 ('sap ng ming', Hokkien: tjap go meh), here in a far flung suburb of Guangzhou it's 上元天官誕 ('sueng yuen tin kun daan'), 元宵节 ('yuen siu jit'), 上元節 ('seung yuen jit') and various other names. Concerning which there is a whole lot of legendry and blah blah blah, but it's the final day of the Spring Festival, so that's probably all you really need to know.
The Spring Festival this year is cold, wet, and miserable.
In the words of one old fellow: 'Taint spring!
I am presently in the room where the computers reside, wearing two layers of underwear, a plaid flannel shirt (thick), a sweater, and a warm garment over that. Drinking a hot beverage of the Mandarin Duck variety (鴛鴦 'yuen yeung') with plenty ginger.
Elsewhere people are freezing their Maganuts off.
Ted Cruz has probably gone to Cancun. This weekend is both the parade and some basketball thing. So the city will be crowded, and wherever the tourists are expected to go the drug addicts and homeless people are being persuaded to go elsewhere, and turds are being picked up.
Good thing it will be raining. Both of those demographics and their refuse will get washed, and the tourists may dissolve.
==========================================================================
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LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Which brings me to the lantern festival. Which today is. In Jakarta and Den Haag it's known as 十五暝 ('sap ng ming', Hokkien: tjap go meh), here in a far flung suburb of Guangzhou it's 上元天官誕 ('sueng yuen tin kun daan'), 元宵节 ('yuen siu jit'), 上元節 ('seung yuen jit') and various other names. Concerning which there is a whole lot of legendry and blah blah blah, but it's the final day of the Spring Festival, so that's probably all you really need to know.
The Spring Festival this year is cold, wet, and miserable.
In the words of one old fellow: 'Taint spring!
I am presently in the room where the computers reside, wearing two layers of underwear, a plaid flannel shirt (thick), a sweater, and a warm garment over that. Drinking a hot beverage of the Mandarin Duck variety (鴛鴦 'yuen yeung') with plenty ginger.
Elsewhere people are freezing their Maganuts off.
Ted Cruz has probably gone to Cancun. This weekend is both the parade and some basketball thing. So the city will be crowded, and wherever the tourists are expected to go the drug addicts and homeless people are being persuaded to go elsewhere, and turds are being picked up.
Good thing it will be raining. Both of those demographics and their refuse will get washed, and the tourists may dissolve.
==========================================================================
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LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
WHERE KANGAROOS COME FROM
A video shows two Australian healthcare workers promising to kill Israeli patients and uttering other anti-Semitic sentiments. And over the last few years there have been quite a number of crimes down under that indicate that Australia is, as you already suspected, a pretty damned unpleasant place. In recent decades there have been many anti-Subcontinental occurences there, anti-Chinese outrages, and generally despicable acts against anybody and anything which isn't sheep abusive descendant of British criminals.
Yeah, I wasn't planning to go there.
And I don't like Vegemite.
Besides, I've met Australians. They're all over South East Asia. And they're drunk.
We have drunken people here too, and they don't talk funny.
Plus I think they're cleaner.
Okay, now that the sneering is out of the way, I must admit that I'm charmed by their videos featuring Australian magppies and parrots on balconies. Most Australians whom I have spoken to were actually rather decent people.
And the succulent Chinese Meal man was a prince among men.
==========================================================================
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==========================================================================
Yeah, I wasn't planning to go there.
And I don't like Vegemite.
Besides, I've met Australians. They're all over South East Asia. And they're drunk.
We have drunken people here too, and they don't talk funny.
Plus I think they're cleaner.
Okay, now that the sneering is out of the way, I must admit that I'm charmed by their videos featuring Australian magppies and parrots on balconies. Most Australians whom I have spoken to were actually rather decent people.
And the succulent Chinese Meal man was a prince among men.
==========================================================================
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LETTER BOX.
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==========================================================================
Tuesday, February 11, 2025
THE GREAT TUNDRA EXPEDITION
A late jaunt with a pipe in the cold of evening. Dinner had been fatty roast pork chunks with tau pok (火腩豆腐飯 'fo naam tau fu fan') with strong milk tea. Fortifying. But too brisk outside for real comfort. Two layers of undergarment, a plaid flannel shirt, sweater, scarf, and a heavy Canafdian overcoat. I felt thus garbed like a refugee fleeing the red army.
Also, two layers of woolen sock, each foot.
The cheerful natives on Nevsky Prospekt (Waverly Place) seemed nearly nude. That is to say, quite underdressed for the arctic chill. They will do well in Siberia. Teenagers!
I caught a bus going up the hill with a mother and her two lovely daughters, then finished my smoke on the steps of my building.
Further down the block between the parked cars opposite a gentleman was peeing into the street while talking to himself. Probably continuing a conversation that had started in a bar on Polk. The beer had cheered him up, the cold air outdoors when he left stimulated his bladder, and the alcohol coursing through his veins fuelled a discourse now sadly internal, though he may not have been aware of it changing. Judging by the length of time it took, it had been a sixpack's worth. Coupled with the first stages of a prostate problem, so I'm guessing mid to late middle age.
Somewhat elderly drunks relieving themselves on frigid streets is in many ways an important signature feature of San Francisco. You should take pictures.
Something to show the folks back in Iowa.
Aunt Martha on the Golden Gate Bridge.
And here's aunt Martha at Coit Tower.
And also in front of a peeing man.
Aunt Martha on Folsom Street.
With jazz musicians.
Tell everyone how much you enjoyed your trip.
==========================================================================
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All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Also, two layers of woolen sock, each foot.
The cheerful natives on Nevsky Prospekt (Waverly Place) seemed nearly nude. That is to say, quite underdressed for the arctic chill. They will do well in Siberia. Teenagers!
I caught a bus going up the hill with a mother and her two lovely daughters, then finished my smoke on the steps of my building.
Further down the block between the parked cars opposite a gentleman was peeing into the street while talking to himself. Probably continuing a conversation that had started in a bar on Polk. The beer had cheered him up, the cold air outdoors when he left stimulated his bladder, and the alcohol coursing through his veins fuelled a discourse now sadly internal, though he may not have been aware of it changing. Judging by the length of time it took, it had been a sixpack's worth. Coupled with the first stages of a prostate problem, so I'm guessing mid to late middle age.
Somewhat elderly drunks relieving themselves on frigid streets is in many ways an important signature feature of San Francisco. You should take pictures.
Something to show the folks back in Iowa.
Aunt Martha on the Golden Gate Bridge.
And here's aunt Martha at Coit Tower.
And also in front of a peeing man.
Aunt Martha on Folsom Street.
With jazz musicians.
Tell everyone how much you enjoyed your trip.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Monday, February 10, 2025
A NEW GOLDEN ERA
Trump wants America to become more Christian. Okay now! As someone who is hereditarily Dutch Calvinist, because my first American ancestors were born in Nieuw Amsterdam, I will welcome the banning of repulsive heresies like the Methodists, Baptists, Southern Baptists, Jehova's Witnesses, Millenialists, Cathars and other pescatarians, Seventh Day Adventists, Mormons, and all manner of charismatics, fundamentalists, evangelicals, and pentacostals.
As well as so-called Prosperity Theology and similar idolatrous heathendoms.
Pitchforks and torches, dudes, pitchforks and torches.
I would like to remind everyone that the greatest period in Western civilization perfectly coincided with the Dutch Golden Age, when all those odious heathendoms and their occultic practices were held in check, repressed, outlawed, and burned at the stake. The sensible Netherlanders were in charge. Biggest trading company, the world's bankers, scientists artists, poets, and the best organized military under Stadholder Prince Mauritz.
Leave it to us, you heathens. We'll make this world work yet.
As well as telling all of you what to think. I particularly look forward to repressing those folks in the Southern States, because they're all basically violent incest-practicing idolaters with pickup trucks, and largely illiterate.
With the highest numbers of STDs, high school dropouts, and psychopaths.
I cannot think of any American region with a more pressing need of stern treatment.
Just think of all those pale milk-white backs, purulent and blistering in the hot sun on our thriving tobacco plantations. Trailer parks with windmills for electricity. Proper dikes and levees along the Mississippi. And New Orleans finally free of alcoholism and syphilis!
No more "American Football" ever!
I thrill at the thought.
==========================================================================
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LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
As well as so-called Prosperity Theology and similar idolatrous heathendoms.
Pitchforks and torches, dudes, pitchforks and torches.
I would like to remind everyone that the greatest period in Western civilization perfectly coincided with the Dutch Golden Age, when all those odious heathendoms and their occultic practices were held in check, repressed, outlawed, and burned at the stake. The sensible Netherlanders were in charge. Biggest trading company, the world's bankers, scientists artists, poets, and the best organized military under Stadholder Prince Mauritz.
Leave it to us, you heathens. We'll make this world work yet.
As well as telling all of you what to think. I particularly look forward to repressing those folks in the Southern States, because they're all basically violent incest-practicing idolaters with pickup trucks, and largely illiterate.
With the highest numbers of STDs, high school dropouts, and psychopaths.
I cannot think of any American region with a more pressing need of stern treatment.
Just think of all those pale milk-white backs, purulent and blistering in the hot sun on our thriving tobacco plantations. Trailer parks with windmills for electricity. Proper dikes and levees along the Mississippi. And New Orleans finally free of alcoholism and syphilis!
No more "American Football" ever!
I thrill at the thought.
==========================================================================
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LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
BUT WE NEED THE RAIN!
According to the news a ferocious earthshaking monumental apocalyptic storm is heading to California, which will hit the areas mostly down south where life is tacky and all-American. It's going to briefly touch the Bay Area, but we are on a different planet, so meh and whatever. This means that if you want to do your laundry this week it would be best to do so Monday or Tuesday. If you're in a different part of the country that is unimportant, because you eat too much, smell bad, and your mom dresses you funny anyhow.
As I understand it, the rest of the country eats buckets of fried food, vegs out in front of their televisions watching lifestyles of the rich and famous, and is addicted to weight loss pills and fentanyl. And mostly lives off manufacturing methamphetamine in their Christian trailer parks. While wishing that they could still put lesbians and those woke wheelchair users to work in the cotton fields, like in the good old days. Occasionally they look at all those foreigners infesting the big cities and think lustfully of the shapely native wimmins.
While banning dragshows and books about evolution.
It's Chick-fil-A country out there.
Cold, greasy, and dark. Note to self: Don't hang your clothes out to dry on a nearby convenient structure (pictured above), don't eat at fast food joints, and don't think about watching the parade this coming Saturday evening because there will be over half a million people along the route making noise and being damp.
Late yesterday I was wondering what to do for lunch today. Chachanteng, rice noodle rolls, or claypot rice with chicken and lapcheung? I think I'll save the claypot rice for Thursday when inclement weather will suggest something comforting.
I've considered asking my apartment mate to go have claypot rice with me, as she has likely never had it. But the place that does several versions of that has all of the choices written on the wall in Chinese, which she doesn't read, and though she speaks Toisanwaa, which is the language of the people who run the place, my Cantonese is probably more fluent than she is in her parent's language so she might look bad, and in any case there are some issues with a smarty pants kwailo going into the heart of Rue Du Toishan with a female companion who is not very Chinese though looking the part. There is only one Chinese restaurant where we ever eat together. The proprietess is also from here, and is quite nice and understanding, American born. The claypot place is not very English-speaking, too Chinese. So I hesitate considerably. I should probably be far more comfortable there than she ever could.
[Also, Chinesy Chinese usually assume that two people of opposite genders eating together are romantically involved, and then start wondering what they see in each other, especially if she's Asian and he's white. How are they matched? What does she see in him? Is she "strange"? And what did it really take to tame him?]
Yeah, I actually don't know anybody I could go there with.
But claypot rice is quite ideal for single diners.
And I am not even seeing anyone.
Perfectly single.
Look at my picture in the top right hand corner. Does that look tamed to you? Domesticated? Capable of being house-trained? I assure you not! Quite uncivilized, possibly feral and rabid. And I probably read horrid stuff like political tracts and Dutch literature.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
As I understand it, the rest of the country eats buckets of fried food, vegs out in front of their televisions watching lifestyles of the rich and famous, and is addicted to weight loss pills and fentanyl. And mostly lives off manufacturing methamphetamine in their Christian trailer parks. While wishing that they could still put lesbians and those woke wheelchair users to work in the cotton fields, like in the good old days. Occasionally they look at all those foreigners infesting the big cities and think lustfully of the shapely native wimmins.
While banning dragshows and books about evolution.
It's Chick-fil-A country out there.
Cold, greasy, and dark. Note to self: Don't hang your clothes out to dry on a nearby convenient structure (pictured above), don't eat at fast food joints, and don't think about watching the parade this coming Saturday evening because there will be over half a million people along the route making noise and being damp.
Late yesterday I was wondering what to do for lunch today. Chachanteng, rice noodle rolls, or claypot rice with chicken and lapcheung? I think I'll save the claypot rice for Thursday when inclement weather will suggest something comforting.
I've considered asking my apartment mate to go have claypot rice with me, as she has likely never had it. But the place that does several versions of that has all of the choices written on the wall in Chinese, which she doesn't read, and though she speaks Toisanwaa, which is the language of the people who run the place, my Cantonese is probably more fluent than she is in her parent's language so she might look bad, and in any case there are some issues with a smarty pants kwailo going into the heart of Rue Du Toishan with a female companion who is not very Chinese though looking the part. There is only one Chinese restaurant where we ever eat together. The proprietess is also from here, and is quite nice and understanding, American born. The claypot place is not very English-speaking, too Chinese. So I hesitate considerably. I should probably be far more comfortable there than she ever could.
[Also, Chinesy Chinese usually assume that two people of opposite genders eating together are romantically involved, and then start wondering what they see in each other, especially if she's Asian and he's white. How are they matched? What does she see in him? Is she "strange"? And what did it really take to tame him?]
Yeah, I actually don't know anybody I could go there with.
But claypot rice is quite ideal for single diners.
And I am not even seeing anyone.
Perfectly single.
Look at my picture in the top right hand corner. Does that look tamed to you? Domesticated? Capable of being house-trained? I assure you not! Quite uncivilized, possibly feral and rabid. And I probably read horrid stuff like political tracts and Dutch literature.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Sunday, February 09, 2025
AND WHAT SHAPE DID YOU SAY?
The best superbowl posting on social media right now is someone mentioning that he was smoking a pipe while watching. He had red vagina in a Peterson Dublin. Which leads me to assume, once again, that spellcheck is a mixed blessing. I myself have an open tin of Red Virginia Small Batch from C&D near my chair. It's good stuff. Vir. Gi. Nia.
It's tobacco, dude. Not... that.
Vur. Gee. Nee. Yah.
Cornell & Diehl's Small Batch Red Virginia Deserves better than watching jejune garbage on teevee. Now if Taylor Swift and Donald Trump were to have a knock down drag out dust up, I'd watch. My money is on Taylor Swift. She younger than the old fart. And she's not wearing a leakproof garment. Those things limit mobility and rather drag one down, I hear.
Of course, a golf player benefits from a lower centre of gravity.
I'll watch the Dorito commercial tomorrow.
The goat was priceless. Virginia tobacco is a trade crop grown in many countries. Golden seed stock, cultivated in a warm humid environment with good sunlight for three to four months, then immediately after harvest hung in flue-heated barns for a week to kill the leaf quickly, which preserves a lovely yellow hue as well as leaf sugars. With slightly lower heat and one or two days longer curing it becomes red Virginia. Which has an appealing, mellow flavour.
Doritos are an American product loved by goats.
I think tomorrow I will smoke my Peterson Dublin, shape #120.
That pipe is nearly sixty years old.
Very nice. Rewarding.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
It's tobacco, dude. Not... that.
Vur. Gee. Nee. Yah.
Cornell & Diehl's Small Batch Red Virginia Deserves better than watching jejune garbage on teevee. Now if Taylor Swift and Donald Trump were to have a knock down drag out dust up, I'd watch. My money is on Taylor Swift. She younger than the old fart. And she's not wearing a leakproof garment. Those things limit mobility and rather drag one down, I hear.
Of course, a golf player benefits from a lower centre of gravity.
I'll watch the Dorito commercial tomorrow.
The goat was priceless. Virginia tobacco is a trade crop grown in many countries. Golden seed stock, cultivated in a warm humid environment with good sunlight for three to four months, then immediately after harvest hung in flue-heated barns for a week to kill the leaf quickly, which preserves a lovely yellow hue as well as leaf sugars. With slightly lower heat and one or two days longer curing it becomes red Virginia. Which has an appealing, mellow flavour.
Doritos are an American product loved by goats.
I think tomorrow I will smoke my Peterson Dublin, shape #120.
That pipe is nearly sixty years old.
Very nice. Rewarding.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
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A HEARTFELT NEED
Everytime I think of garlic butter baked sole (蒜茸焗龍脷飯 ' suen yong guk long lei faan ') a friend comes to mind. Not that he likes it ...
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