HIDE THE KEYS

Most people at this point are suffering from holiday stress, and can't wait for the season of giving to have gone. Part of this is because the days are shorter, colder, and gloomier, part of this is because we're sick and tired of seeing Erika Kirk's sneering nasty damned face all over the internet because the bitch just won't shut the F up. Yeah, okay, we get that your husband got whacked, and that you ooze lubriciously over Fuentes, Trump, and Vance.
Can you get out of our lives now? We're really beginning to hate all of you.

Same goes double for brainworm boy.

We hope all of them get the firing squad.


One other thing contributing to all of this is that a significant number of us have not been able to smoke our pipes since the first week of December because of the beastly cold and a bad case of the flu. So we're pissed and frustrated. We'll blame Trump-voting downtown yuppies for this. And their trashy party-slag girlfriends.
Delayed Santa-conic nausea.
Bah, humbug.

Cite from a typical missive to a pipe tobacco forum: "The wife won't let me smoke inside, kids and relatives, heater in the tool shed out since last century, six feet of snow over the patio furniture, how do you guys stand it?" Dudu, get divorced, ditch the baggage, and move to Tierra Del Fuego. Seriously.

Five more days till the solstice. Then the days will start getting longer again, chocolate goes on sale eventually, people make resolutions to instantly break, and there's a different flood of bullpuckey. But the key thing will be longer days.


Another thing to which to keenly look forward is a nearly eight month absence of anything and everything pumpkin spiced.



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