DIETARY ADVICE

Judging by what I can see on the streets of this city, it's a warzone out there. We need the National Guard to come. With buckets, because it rained, and we're not used to rain, we can't handle it. Them, and the Portland Frogs. Between guardsmen with buckets and frogs (who are experienced hydrotists or something) we'll have this licked in no time. No ICE.
Ice cracks pipes, bottles, and heads.

America's street tumult in recent weeks prove that liberals are peaceful people. The proof is that there has not yet been any widespread gunfire aimed at ICE agents, overweight Texans (who would be an easy target), or Fox News reporters. Liberals are predominantly quiet hippies, who wish the best for everyone. Peace, love, organic food.

Unlike Republicans, ICE agents, Texan National Guardsmen, and Fox News.
All of whom eat babies and torture family pets.


By the way: Kristi Noem is a five thousand year old mummy, except no one knows this because of Botox, lip silicone, and inch-thick pancake make-up.
Plus adrenal extract from aborted foetuses.

When I stepped out for my first pipe smoke this morning, there were signs of early seasonal wetness everywhere. Cleaner streets, fewer people walking their barking poopers, no street people flopped across the sidewalks, and no overweight Texans. I do not know if they were National Guardsmen, because they were absent. I will go ahead and assume that all the overweight people I did not see are from Texas. Everything is bigger there.

Kristi Noem of course is NOT from Texas. The proof is that she is not national guard sized. Her diet of foetal adrenal juice keeps her lean, which is probably why Pete Hegseth wants all of our admirals and generals to get on it. He takes it, and he's never looked so good. The alcoholic bloat has disappeared entirely. If our military men all become adrenochrome vampires our forces will be the fearsomest warfighters in the universe.
The world will respect the United States again!


By the way, the reason why San Francisco's billionaires and Fox News want the National Guard and the army on San Francisco's streets is that they keep getting robbed when venturing into the Tenderloin to score smart drugs and brutalize third worlders.
There are giant homeless lizards everywhere! Intolerable!


PS.: Another good reason why the military and Republicans, ICE agents, Texas National Guardsmen, and Fox News reporters need to stop eating babies is that it's unhealthy.
Those things are fillled with chemicals and mico-plastics and make you fat.



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