REMEMBER TO WEAR NEW SOCKS

At the two nearest gay bars they're having Oscar parties. Naturally, I am not there. Seeing as I do not drink nowadays (it might combine badly with medicines I'm on) and don't give a hill of beans about the Oscars. And, speaking of medication, I've noticed that now sometimes late at night there are hours at a stretch when my feet itch from the inside out. Which keeps me awake. I shall have to mention this to my cardiologist tomorrow during our visit.

Nothing says good luck during medical appointments than having something good to smoke afterwards. A pouch of a nice Virginia and Perique compound and two handsome briar pipes will, naturally, be in my coat pocket.

Distributed in different parts of my habiliments will be a tamper, matches, and pipe cleaners.
I'm like a boyscout. Always be prepared when heading into a medical appointment.
Professionals appreciate that. It makes life more exciting.



Among the preparations, as you would expect. Bath, clean clothes, respectable underwear, new socks. After morning coffee and a walk with a pipe. No, not breakfast -- eating anywhere near the crack of daylight savings time dawn is out of the question -- but the coffee will be accompanied by pills.

After I get back to this part of town I may require fortifying sustenance. Hong Kong milk tea and a bowl of pork liver congee with a fried dough stick. I rarely leave the house so early at this time of year for anything other than the early morning pipe-walk while dodging people pooing their dogs and the near-naked joggers one encounters in all weathers.

The new socks are extremely important. He will examine my feet for signs of poor circulation. New socks make that a more wholesome experience. The feet may be lousy old dogs and splotchy here and there, but the new socks add a stylish touch.
Grey, woolen, and plenty roomy.


There will be no pictures of either the feet or the socks.
I shan't encourage the non-cariologically inclined.



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