SUAVE AND HAPPY

Yesterday and today the weather was crappy. Which for some of us was no problem, we were at work all day in a smoky environment happily looking outside occasionally at the beastliness and inclemency, but other people, mostly non-smokers, were housebound. So even though they spent all day indoors too, they were probably in a foul mood. As well as flueish, and constipated. Just guessing here. Didn't meet any of those people all day.
Their absence was not regretted. We need more climactic unpleasantness.

As you would expect, I have a supply of tea bags at work. So I was hepped and cheerful, poncing around with my Dunhill Shell Briar and a cuppa, acting all Oxford Cambridge ish, swilling a hot beverage and puffing an aged Virginia flake. The rest of you were outside harvesting turnips in the downpour freezing your kloten off, wishing you were like me: collegiatic, debonair, hail-fellow-well-met, and chipper as a daisy.

Life is good, it's almost like you hear me say. Chirpily.
As you shiver in your soggy peasant rags.
These turnips are rotten!
So unfair!

My tobacco was extremely enjoyable. Soft, subtle, complex, and fragrant.

From my lofty sanctuary in that smoke-filled workroom I gazed out over the salt flats, where drenched turkey vultures wheeled disconsolately in search of either dead seagulls or the fatty inner thighs of the freshly deceased, and perhaps a turnip -- wilted, overripe, with soft spots, semi-rotten -- to alleviate the dreariness of their miserable diet. Not even a pipefull of aged Virginia flake to benefit their stressed digestive systems! Dunhill Shell Briars, as is well known, do not have mouthpieces fit for a carrion-eater's beak. It is sad. So sad.

Maybe their digestive systems are stressed because they haven't eaten?
Dead seagulls can't be easy. Nor are those mushy turnips.
Their doctors keep telling them to eat healthy.
More veggies, little guys.

Go ahead, visit the old folks home! A veritable smörgåsbord!
An orgasm for the senses if you're a carrion bird.
There are turnips everywhere!
They are fresh!
Bathed!



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