THE PERMA PRESSED LIFE

The blobbo who lost the last presidential election keeps speechifying to delirious people getting their boxers wet over his promises to kill the commies and preserve our precious bodily fluids, as well as bring back the past that conservatives want. Which was so lovingly illustrated in the ads of mid-century magazines. Colour teevees, hand-blown artistic glass doodads, a crocheted rug in the living room, streamlined refrigerators that looked like they could go over a hundred miles per hour on the freeway, luxurious dwellings in bucolic settings with all the modern conveniences, and happy well-behaved wife and kids.

The man of the family had all his teeth (white and shiny), a pressed shirt on with a tie, and carefully combed and creamed hair.

Oh, it was so lovely!

"Jeff, proud owner of two kids, a retriever, a cat, and a goldfish, sits on his Wildmoose Lawn Master with the personalized kidney comfort pad, with which he keeps his grass perfectly trimmed, while gazing at a brand new stationwagon parked in the driveway of his suburban Spanish revival ranch bungalow. His lovely wife Dorothy is fixing dinner in their kitchen, he can smell the coming feast from out on his lawn. Tuna casserole followed by lime Jello, his favourites, yum!"

"The tobacco in his pipe is Granger, the righ load for your pipe. It's mild and cool, keeps the bowl dry and the stem clean."

There is an order in their universe.


And, one expects, they still lovingly maintain great grampaw's backyard bombshelter.

For when the aliens invade. As you know they will.

The millenials with their communisms and multiple ethnicities and genders ruined all that! They don't shop at Sears Roebuck, they don't vote for righteous Christians, and they don't aspire to cottages by the lake. And they eat avocado toast! It's shocking, is what!


You know, tuna casserole sounds kind of disgusting. Also, not having a yard, I really do not aspire to a motorized lawn mower with adjustable heating in the seat. And I would probably like avocado toast, even if it is served by a godless heathen commie from outer space.

So I'll vote for anyone who isn't Trump and is hated by the fundamentalists.

And I'm looking forward to my next booster in a month or two.

Along with the microchip and antimagnetism.



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