Tuesday, July 04, 2023

EVERYONE HAS A RECTANGLE

He just sat there when the others were already at the door. He had not eaten much, barely anything -- his more severely mentally handicapped brother had been disgusting, what with mewing and ingratiating smiles, as well as touching his food -- and the whole thing had left him feeling alone. He was still hungry. And he had not finished his soft drink yet.
All in all, it had been an extremely unpleasant lunch.

He didn't blame his brother. But he was resentful.
Also quite confused by the experience.
He too had issues.

The grandparents obviously did not understand their two defective grandsons. How very unfortunate that both of them would not be on the deans list (putting it mildly) and would need attention for the rest of their lives.

I had started paying attention to all of them at that table when it became apparent that neither boy could use chopsticks. Like the sullen brother who dawdled over the soft drink, I found the mewling boy's greasy smile quite irritating. In retrospect I understand that it's a useful tool for dealing with reality which he cannot grasp or deal with. But the sullen one seems much more likable, in retrospect, because sullenness is an intelligent reaction. Not quite fully normal, in his case, but it's infinitely more relatable.
Eating together is, in the Asian context, one of the most social acts. It affirms relationships, and allows the expression of necessary proprieties. It says that someone has people. No one should be forced to eat alone. In Western society that also comes into play, but far, far less. Individual servings, with everyone's proportion of string beans or mush carefully measured. And four Salisbury steaks of precisely equal size.

What if, as a hypothetical question, I don't want mush, and dislike stringbeans?
I imagine that in some severely Anglo families that's heresy.
Boy, finish everything on your plate!

There are people starving in Africa!

Sometimes one prefers to eat alone. There is scope for that. At a dimsum restaurant, given that it would probably be early in the day, people like me are a drag. We do like the selection, yes, but the caffeine and blood sugar levels have not hit cruising altitude yet, and our gears are not at functioning speed. By contrast, chachantengs are about taking a break, which sometimes means a break from other people.

I stay away from junkfood places. Too many families.
Nor am I a round table person, particularly.


Social relationships tend to enforce certain behaviours.
The smiling boy had all of his needs met.


I think the sullen fellow would have quite enjoyed simply sitting alone with his carbonated beverage for a while. But it was time to leave.



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