LUNCH, TEA, SMOKE, AND AGGRO

On my way to lunch I passed one store with bottles of Sriracha priced at $12.99. Which is an outrageous war-profiteering price! The store right next door wasn't charging that; they simply had none. Despite having oodles of everything else. After lunch I dropped by my favourite provisioners, where the helpful lady informed me "mow, m-tak chut-ge".

There is none to be had.

This Sriracha shortage is for real.
We shall starve!

I envision Sriracha-starved mobs tearing each other limb from limb outside Vietnamese restaurants and salad bars, as they fight each other for every last drop. The zombie masses will leave New York and fan out across the country, ravenous and bestial.

So I bought something else. Not the Huy Fong brand, but Dynasty Sriracha. It looks red enough, I'll know soon whether it tastes okay. Plus I have jars of various sambals in my pantry and my refrigerator. So I will not fear the culinarily deprived hordes.

Back in the dark ages it was difficult to find red chili sauces in the Bay Area, as mid-American blandness still dominated. Turmeric, cumin, coriander seed, and fresh ginger were also hard to find. Lemon grass, shrimp sauce, and curry pastes were almost unheard of. Most white people still ate tuna casseroles, ketchup, and canned beans.
Life was nasty, brutish, and short-tempered.

The real horror won't happen till all of you white bread are relegated to putting ketchup and tuna on your hamburgers late at night. Oh, it will be monstrous.

I may weep for you.



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