Sunday, June 09, 2019

HOLD ON TO YOUR GALL BLADDER!

This blogger works with perverts. I did not need to be exposed to either the shart song, or a little ditty from a man to a part of his own anatomy that begins "dear penis", and details certain things that would cause the eyes to open. And then that one of them has neurotic issues regarding certain condiments is also information that's not, strictly speaking, necessary.
Except if she's choosy about what she rubs herself all over with.
Still don't need to know, and spare me details.
Feminine skin care.

[This was after I shared with them the advice for men heading into late middle-age: Never ignore a hard-on, never pass-up on an opportunity to pee, and never ever trust a fart. One of the regular passengers on Golden Gate Transit three years ago would have benefitted from those words of wisdom, all three parts, but he was beyond caring.]

Enough. This is the woman who was told by one visitor that she looked like a Disney Princess, and asked by another when the baby was due. Disney Princess Man ranks highly, Pregnant Dude is rock-bottom.

Disney Princess Man is, as every one knows, crazier than a bedbug.
He has a rich inner life as a podiatrist and brainsurgeon.
Fighter pilot astronaut zen master gunsmith.
Former marine, presently a ninja.


He's also a Doctor of Divinity; if your divinity is ailing, he can help you.

My other coworker is jealous. He wishes he were a Disney Princess.


[He did not know that naked catgirl vampires in bondage are a thing. Now he does, and it inspires him. I just threw that out as a conversation starter, but he went ahead and googled it. He now fears me because I "know things".]


Fortunately, Disney Princess Man is not a member of the pipe club, which met today. All of whom are sane. Including the half a dozen or so who were missing in action. Ten total today, including myself eleven.

Disquisition by the expert on briar age, two Virginias, preserved meats, plus cheese, with hummus and pita. And several bottles on the table.

[There was also some lovely shortbread that one of the members had made. He brought it early, so that my colleagues and I could feast. Because the Disney Princess is dieting, I ate several pieces slowly in her line of sight. Ooh, yummy! Delicious! Ooh! Mmmmmmm!
All gone now!]


For part of that time I was in the back buffing stems.
I am a boring man, and have little to say.
My divinity is fine.


Besides, I didn't feel like sharing with them that if your gallbladder has been removed, you will become a toilet-hazard. Almost a natural disaster.
It's a datum I picked up recently, and I'm glad I've still got mine.
Conversations at work are informative.
Content rich.
Laden.

Mostly excited cigar smokers.

Giddy.

Maybe it's something about the shape or appearance that wigs them, but cigar smokers just can't stop talking about bodily functions.
Pipe smokers, at least, are normal.




TOBACCO INDEX


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