Friday, November 16, 2018

NO LOBSTERS WERE HARMED AT THE DHABA

The owner of the Indian restaurant where I worked years ago stated in an advertising flyer that we could do Hindu, Halal, and Kosher banquets ... Every utensil and surface in the kitchen would have had to be torched till red hot to make that a reality. And, needless to say, we had no mashgiach.
He had a hard time bending his mind around the concept.
He had thought it was just "no pork".

Work on Sabath, shellfish, buttered roti with your lamb korma?

Snapper ve kaskeses?

Libbun?


Needless to say we did no kosher banquets, ever. Christmas parties, yes.
And a few tasteful Indian weddings.

We had pretensions. Even though, like most Indian restaurants in the United States, our menu selections catered to Sikh truckdrivers on the Grand Trunk Road, possibly filtered through Birmingham.

Slight shades of derelict mansions and their occupants in old Delhi after the Afghans sacked the place, occasional hints of South Indian ashrams for dingbat white people. But not a charpoy in the place. Tinny bhangra and Bollywood music whenever the boswallah wasn't around.
Sheer buckets of masala chai.


During my time there I purchased nearly every book I could find about Indian languages, food, belief systems, and history. One does not want to be the white fellow on staff who doesn't know a damned thing.
Especially not around Indians.
Who know everything.

Dhaba food. Rich, greasy, energy-giving. Chole, saag, palak paneer, kadhai gosht, and butter chicken. Paratha, puri, kulcha. Firni, gulab jamun, barfi.
Great eating, indeed, but hardly strictly kosher.


Nothing Vegan, neither observant Jews or strict vegetarians might ever feel entirely comfortable there, the dairy items could not pass for cholov yisroel, and both Brahmans and Jains might have severe internal struggles.
Strict people of any type should not eat at a dhaba.

But on the other hand, the Lobster Space Aliens would have probably loved the place. Good food, yaar! Fabulous roti-shoti!
We awaited their coming.
Every night.




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