OH BUGGER THE OSCARS!

Normally I completely ignore the Oscars. This time, however, I have a pony in the race. My cousin's brilliant son, as of this writing, has scored big time. So yes, I am paying attention.
Probably won't go see his movie in a theatre, though.
For one thing, absolutely no one to go with.
Actually, that is key.

You see, other than Cantonese movies, which I always enjoyed by myself as a secret perversion, movies aren't really my thing. I like having a warm hand to hold, and someone to talk about the movie with afterward.
While we feast upon a scrumptious dinner.
I don't really like movie theatres in SF. They smell bad, the seats are of very suspect cleanliness, snacks and drinks are pretty darn awful and cost too much, and the ambient noise makes understanding what the characters said problematic. Plus the forward rows ALWAYS have big hair.

The last movie I thoroughly enjoyed by myself was King of Masks. Yep, a tearjerker. Especially when the adorable tyke wails "wo shir ge nü-dze!"


"我是個女子！"


Oy.

Saw that movie over two dozen times. My ex hated it. Even today she still teases me by mimicking the sounds and expressions in that movie.

Fortunately she's never seen most of the Cantonese movies I love, such as pretty much every ultra-violent gangster flick with Chou Yunfat, or any of the films featuring the lovely Cherie Chung. Well, possibly excepting Peking Opera Blues. I think she enjoyed it, I'm not sure. Too much historical detail, even though the script played fast and loose with the facts quite as much as Cherie Chung's character with other people's jewelry.
It's a great cinematic romp if you are Chinese or know recent mainland history. But probably more than a bit baffling if you are American-born Chinese, and not at all fully at home in the language or the culture.

Chou Yunfat was one hell of a handsome devil in the gangster movies, and one seriously wondered why women all over the world weren't stalking him. Plus he had style.


Confession: I also thoroughly enjoyed Anna And The King.
Chou Yunfat opposite Jodie Foster.


Jodie Foster, you will recall, was blazing and brilliant in the Hotel New Hampshire, which was exceedingly kinky, in a witty sort of way.
Bears featured as sexy beasts.

See, that's what all well-rounded movies need. Hot gangsters, brilliant (or brilliantly demented) Cantonese women, sex-fetish-ursines, and a great setting. If you've got all of those, the plot is immaterial. Just tell everyone to be themselves, and wait for the sparks to fly.
That will come naturally.

This, of course, explains why my brilliant first cousin ("cousin-nephew"?) is at the Oscars tonight, whereas I am sitting in front of my computer gibbering pretentiously about film.


Congratulations, dude.
Well-deserved.



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