Monday, April 07, 2014

NAUGHTY-MINDED UKRAINIANS!

Moments ago I checked my blog stats, and two facts just jumped out. There is NO denying them. They speak. They illustrate, and they make everything clear. ONE: today I had many more visitors from the Ukraine than from anywhere else. Normally U.S. citizens dominate, presently they're in the place normally occupied by the Chinese, who are a distant third. TWO: a blogpost I wrote two years ago in which I was whining pathetically like a loser about the singular... plural... dual(!) absence of nippletude in my life, while simultaneously savagely taunting the internet perverts who found my blog by specifically searching for nipples on the net, is being viewed.

The inescapable conclusion is that Ukranians have discovered nipples.
Maybe they were rather unaware of such things before.
But climate change has opened their eyes.
Expanded their horizons.
At long last.


SOSKI, ROZHEVIYE SOSKI!

Yes, I'm still whining. Sorry. Whatever you are wanting is just not here. In gonzen nicht. I assume that all three hundred plus of you came to this blog today because of your recent discovery, but I refuse to post any pictures or diagrams. This is a family blog, and little children would have nightmares if they actually saw nipples.


Instead, let me describe them.

A nipple is a physical structure located terminally on mammalian lactiferous tissue aggragatata that rather resembles either a finger tip or a lightswitch. You may also think of it as an on-off button, if that is easier to imagine.
It is sensitive. Most human females have two of them, which are larger than the corresponding minor protuberances of the human male.
In general appearance, the entire construction of lactiferous tissues, fatty deposits, derma, and papillae (or papules) on the feminine person may look like the domes of certain mosques and churches, especially in Turkey, Greece, and parts of Russia.
If these things resemble the spires atop the Kremlin (a famous fortress in Muscovy), there is something wrong. They will pendule too much when the afflicted individual ambulates.
For this reason, the French invented a cupping garment to contain as well as restrain, which has the added benefit of supporting the excess weight, and, if of correct size and dimension, preventing chafing.
That last is extremely important.
I mentioned sensitivity.

Some very fine artistic minds have obsessed over these things.
Which is quite understandable, all things considered.



If you weren't searching for nipples here, I welcome you also.
Please let me know what you were really looking for.
And feel free to describe your own parts.
If you feel so inclined.




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