MILITARY GRADE ALL-TERRAIN WEAR

While I was enjoying a smoke on Grant Avenue, a young lady wearing a black cartoon kitten sweatshirt and very short black leather hotpants passed by. All I could think was "oh you poor thing, those must be insufferably warm!" and "Do you need a place to change?"
Yes, I was moved solely by her perceived plight.
"You'd look much better with just the shirt".
Trust me. I know these things.
I am an expert.

Then I realized that, given the temperature, the term "insufferably warm" was not relevant. I felt cold, despite a sweater and a jacket. The miracle was that she did not appear to be suffering from the chill at all.
It must have been those very short leather hotpants.
A most marvelous garment, indeed.
Secret insulation.

Some people can wear hotpants. Most of us are not so lucky.

It's a question of age bracket and sleekness. Plus size and dimension. Hotpants by their very nature discriminate. This blogger, for instance, would look most inappropriate with that tight black leather thing and a cartoon cat sweatshirt. It wouldn't even look "gay", just demented.
A magnet for seventy two hour observation.
Not THAT kind of observation.
Padded cell.

Not all women can or should wear such garments either.

The little woman in question had very elegant legs.
I couldn't help but notice them.

Perhaps because it was so cold, those gams looked warm and inviting.
It was just the weather, I'm sure of it. Frigid weather does things to the perception, and alters reality.
I am not haamsap.

我眞唔係鹹濕佬！
[普通話：我不是一個變態。]

Normally, when I'm wandering around the neighborhood, my mind is filled with deep thoughts and philosophical questions. What is the meaning of life? Why am I here? Is that a twinge of gout?

Cold weather makes a man think of warmth.
And kittens. Wriggly little kittens.
It's very strange.


I should've lent her my coat.



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