SORT OF MATURE - YES, IT'S SURPRISING TO ME TOO

Friends have suggested that either I move out, or Savage Kitten should. Apparently the idea that two ex-lovers can become just roommates is too unusual to succeed.

They have correctly noted that I have quite a bit of anger about the entire situation - not only the how and why of the actual breakup last summer,
but also developments since then.

However, I balk.

Running away is not a solution.

I'm peevish at present, but I do not hate.

So I'm stubbornly going to insist that this will work.



Indeed, I do not like hearing about her new boyfriend. But the girl is excited and happy, so I'll put up with it. If her relationship crashes, I will not gloat in any way that she could notice, I'll be supportive, and I will absolutely not take advantage of the situation.
We've known each other for over twenty years. She's told me stuff that she could never tell her siblings, or G-d forbid her fright-bitch virago maternal unit. We are closer to each other than to our relatives, and we function reasonably well together as house-mates.
As long as we've known each other we have been allies.
I think we still are.
No longer lovers, we have less vested in each other than before - I am not responsible for her happiness, she isn't responsible for mine.
The pressure is off.

Yes, there are times when it is hurts to be around her, also times when it is torment to be in the apartment when she is not around.
I hide out at the office a lot.

Please imagine how much more frustrating and irritating it would be if I had a new roommate - someone with whom I did not have such a long history of trust, who wasn't used to my peculiarities.
Even worse, someone who had a cell phone, or insisted on playing music.
Or heaven forefend, a person with narrow culinary and cultural views.

So yeah, I'm keeping this one. She's been vetted by two decades of experience.
She's got good habits, and some splendid personal qualities.
She's stubborn and gallant, among other things.

I am not hoping that we'll eventually get back together as lovers. That situation cannot be restored, and at this point I would not want it to be.
There were twenty very happy years. We mean a lot to each other.
But we have grown in different directions.
She's moved on. I am doing likewise.

Life isn't simple, life isn't going to be fair.
Sometimes you have no choice but to reinvent yourself.
That's just the way it is.


AN AFTERTHOUGHT
The man in her life is mobility impaired. The apartment where Savage Kitten and I live is on a slope, and up the stairs. That means that he cannot visit, and she has indicated that she likes having her own space - distance probably does make the heart grow fonder.
This situation works for her. It also has certain advantages for me. The primary one is that I will never have to deal with him being around, nor ever have to observe them interacting in any way.
Another potential advantage is that she is often not around for several hours at a stretch.



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