There are times when I really wonder what I did to deserve this.
I am in receipt of a message from someone who means well.
Let me quote just two sentences:
"As the message of the movie is an important one, we would like to give you the opportunity to take it home and view it with family and friends.
Please let me know if you are interested in borrowing the movie for a night or two."
That's very nice. Didn't you wonder why I missed seeing the movie in the first place? Despite several e-mails telling me that you were showing it, and that there would be tofu snax for attendees?
Didn't my rant about bean-eating puritans the other day clue you in that I am not the right demographic?
You know, if you force me to watch that nasty political film (yes yes, I know it's not 'political' in your world, just a 'common sense let us all save the planet and hug wheat germ virtuous message' which you strongly feel everyone should hear) I will probably go out and order some whale meat off the internet. I understand the Japanese are now shipping it world-wide, labeled 'Cetabix' or 'AustraRian WhaRe'.
And I will gladly shoot some money their way if it off-pisses people like you.
Not you personally, you understand - I have to associate with you regularly, there's just no getting around that - but people who resemble you, and have the same insufferable do-gooder tendencies. I'm just grateful that you aren't religious; you could've been a proselytizing Marxist or Presbyterian.
Still. How hopeful and tolerantly patient of us heathen must you be, to continually try to impress your belief system on us, Tinkerbelle?
Don't you EVER despair of us? You must have grasped by now that some of us are in league with the devil, we will not reform no matter what; we are beyond redemption.
It's a matter of choice. We made it, and we're not turning back. Sorry.
If you insist on lending me that movie, I will feed it to the dogs. Rabid feral hungry dogs.
Then I will return the noxious extrudite to you, nicely packaged.
With compliments.
My family and friends do not wish to see the movie either.
I can confidently say that. Please don't ask me again.
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THE TURKEYS
If you do your research assiduously, you can discover lots of evidence that American families are completely dysfunctional and consist of tr...
3 comments:
You must tell us the title of the movie.
Man O Man, you've got some problem about bean-eating vegetarians. I know quite a few, and they're really not that bad. And they do have a point, if you eat too much meat, you end up with an upset tummy. You need to calm down. I mean, how bad could this film be?
How bad could this fim be?
"Tapped examines the role of the bottled water industry and its' effects on our health, climate change, pollution, and our reliance on oil. Produced by Atlas Films"
Boogeyman! Boogeyman!
I'm sorry, I do not choose to watch crusader flicks if I can help it. I read. I do not need or 'digg' hectoring cinematographic sermons, nor the visual aids so common to puritanical preaching.
Nothing against beans - frijoles refritos ("bean lard mulch") has its place, so does 'dhal ka tarka'. I just despise the hair-shirt and munch-pulp attitude of the new age missionaries.
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