On Stockton Street yesterday, Savage Kitten passed a Chinese man and his slut-temptress sex doll Taiwanese girlfriend. She did not immediately identify the female as Taiwanese, but when she recounted the experience, it was obvious to me that the person in question was such.
You see, only Taiwanese girls still play the pouty whiny spoiled money-lenders’ plaything role to perfection.
It’s a combination of high falsetto little girl voice, adhesive behaviour, and ego-stroking flattery. Sure, Shanghainese tramps also attempt the act – but without the pampered bitch attitude and that syrupy four-year-old sexbombe voice, it just isn’t the same. The Shanghainese practitioner of the art always has a note of sleazy desperation, but the Taiwanese wanna-be kept woman has so perfected the saccharine mewling that weak-willed men do not even realize that their brains just melted.
Cantonese girls won’t even bother. They know that at some point they’re going to completely spoil the effect by blessing him out. With some snarled “colloquial” expressions that will not bear translation. They prefer to keep their options open as far as expressing themselves, and many of them have far too much stubborn ego to pull the “oh you’re soooooo smart and handsoooooome” routine. At least not with any real conviction.
Even when they try the act on for size, they usually can’t keep a straight face.
Savage Kitten, attempting to sound EXACTLY like the Taiwanese babydoll, spoiled it by an uncontrollable fit of laughter.
“Wah, ni chen shir hnnnn chong-mingngngngngng…….”
[ "哇, 你真是很聰明!" ]
She nearly choked after lithping that sentence. Something loud; twixt evil cackle and chortled glee.
Completely the opposite of the ideal Mandarin hussy concubine.
That’s probably just as well.
Seeing as I am neither a gangland boss, nor some high-ranking Kuomintang thug’s conceited heir.
Can’t even imitate either of those.
On the other hand, I do an east Tsim Sha Tsui goomba on the prowl really well: “ahhhh syew-chee-eh-ah, ley hooooow lyeeeeeng-guh….., ley kyew meeeh meng ah?”
[ "啊小姐啊, 你好靚咯, 你叫乜名呀?" ]
The combination of ooze, faked sincerity, and cool-dude slime-drawl will seriously creep out any young lady.
It’s a gift.
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