At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


The following thoughts are brought to you by The Fiqh Council of North America:

The Full Body Security Scanners (also called Nude-body scanners) are being installed at various airports in United States and Europe. Several human rights and religious groups have expressed their concerns and disapproval of such scanners on the grounds of violation of privacy and human dignity. The Fiqh Council of North America (FCNA) emphasizes that a general and public use of such scanners is against the teachings of Islam, natural law and all religions and cultures that stand for decency and modesty.

It is a violation of clear Islamic teachings that men or women be seen naked by other men and women. Islam highly emphasizes ‘haya’ (modesty) and considers it part of faith. The Qur’an has commanded the believers, both men and women, to cover their private parts. Human beings are urged to be modest in their dress. See Holy Quran, 7:26-27; 24:30-31; 33:59. Exception to this rule can be made in case of extreme necessity, such as medical treatment, to investigate a crime or in a situation of imminent danger. There must be a compelling case for the necessity and the exemption to this rule must be proportional to the demonstrated need.

FCNA fully supports the necessary measures for the safety and protection of all passengers. It is, however, deeply concerned about the use of nude body scanners for this purpose. FCNA recommends that instead of producing and displaying a picture of the body, software should be designed to produce only the picture of questionable materials on an outline of the body. Further, other technologies could be used that detect the presence of explosives without infringing on modesty as some European leaders have pointed out. FCNA appreciates the alternate provision of pat-down search (when needed) and therefore recommend to Muslims to avail this option over the nude body scanners.


[SOURCE: The statement of the FCNA on the ose of full body scanners for security at the airports and other places (Issued on February 9, 2010) - Source:]


I can already see you shaking your head. Your natural reaction is "no body scan means no boarding...".

But I suggest a test run - no body scanning on any flights originating in the Muslim world.
Lets see how that works out for a while before we consider it anywhere else.
A decade or two will provide a sufficient track-record.

Needless to say, I have no intention of travelling to anywhere in the Muslim world, and heartily wish that that would be reciprocated.
I can barely even tolerate flying Christians (but I grudgingly suppose that they are necessary evil....).



One line especially caught my eye, because it speaks to my own sensibilities.
Quote: "The Qur’an has commanded the believers, both men and women, to cover their private parts. Human beings are urged to be modest in their dress."

"Human beings are urged to be modest in their dress."

It is a pity that more people do not take this to heart. There is hardly anything more repulsive than a vast expanse of rubbery cleavage or a clear view of some harlot's butt tattoo.

Really, the world does not need to know that your bottom is named Gloria, just like you (and gosh what a marvelous coincidence that is!), nor that you believe that barely concealed nipples and a snake crawling out from between your cheeks make you more of a person. Yes, you are a truly unique individual...... but the rest of us don't care; you are stupid. The fact that you got a tattoo proves it.
Tattoos are for porno-actresses, violent criminals, drug addicts, scumbuckets, and heathens. Not for spoiled spam-brained middle-class suburbanite white kids who cannot think of any other way to express their singularity. That's what skate-boards and yoga classes are for. Idiot.

And as for blatantly exhibiting huge amounts of deep moundage, ladies, we are hugely appreciative of the fact that you have such things, and we realize that you are proud of them. Damn proud. And you should be - some of you have absolutely nothing else to boast about. We are aware that.
Now please cover up a little, lest I plant my glass of whiskey in a secure location while lighting up. And don't move while I do so - that's an expensive singlemalt, and this is a Joya de Nicaragua.
Are those freckles? Aren't you cold?


  • At 12:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Of course these protestations of "modesty" would sound more sincere if the most recent Jihadi airline bombing attempt didn't involve explosives sewed EXACTLY where a "male enhancement appliance" might be in the man's dingy gray jockey shorts. His punishment seems to include having THOSE jockey shorts photographed on international media. Didn't his mother ever tell him the clean underwear every day story?

  • At 12:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This is just the beginning. We may need Federal legislation that demands compliance with scanning devices in terms of appropriate security measures at airports. While I don't believe that all Muslims are terrorists (absurd idea), I am concerned with that .01% who may be. Given the nature of scanning devices, I don't think the Muslims have any right to legally object.

  • At 2:48 PM, Anonymous Graham said…

    I have already put aside 12" of lead piping which I shall slip onto my 3rd leg the next time I fly.
    I'm not too sure how this will come up "so to say" on the scanner - but I do not care - the important thing is not to reveal that tattoo


  • At 6:00 PM, Anonymous It's an Outrage! said…

    What Graham said, near as I can figure.


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