GREEN BULLETIN BOARD

I am in receipt of an annoyingly sanctimonious e-mail.

It says:

Hello All,

[Name omitted #A] and I started a GREEN bulletin board in the kitchen. You will be able to find tips on ways to help preserve and save our beautiful planet. We will be adding to this each week. Please see [Name omitted #A] or [Name omitted #B] if you have ideas you would like to share with other employees.

Thanks,

------[Name omitted #A] and [Name omitted #B]



Well now. How...... wholesome.

The e-mail prompted someone else to send me the following:

"All this nonsense about green is making me see red. Why don’t people just keep their obsessions to themselves? How much is [Name omitted #C] paying these people? If they don’t have enough real work, cut their hours! I hate sanctimonious people who believe everyone should do as they do.
[Name omitted #A] especially seems to have precious little to keep him busy other than practically sitting on [Name omitted #D]’s lap forty times a day, tiptoeing through the tulips all over the office and greening the place. I can hardly wait to see this year’s pathetic excuse for a “Holiday” tree. Sorry for the vent, but I am so sick of this nonsense. Feel free to double delete this."


Eloquent. Lyrical. Poetry of sorts. I cannot but admire. I have my own reasons for seeing both green and red.

I'm a smoker, I have no children. I am almost forty nine years old.

I will be dead long before our planet - and seeing as the planet wants to insist that the only place I can smoke (and be free of children) is in the bus lanes, I may die more suddenly than being a smoker would suggest. Playing in traffic has that effect sometimes. Consequently, I bear the planet little good will.

I shall continue to smoke. Tobacco fields generate oxygen. That is the extent of my green. Be grateful if you must.

Do not thank me for sharing. I do it naturally.