RUN-AWAY TRAIN

Something e-kvetcher said set off a train of mental associations. This post is dedicated to him in consequence, and you may blame him of you wish.


CHOLENT

One of the things which many people eat with "affection" on shabbes afternoon is cholent (tsholnt: chaud-lent; mediaeval French: slow heat), which is a compound of meat, vegetables, and lentils similar to both Parsi Dhansak and industrial strength spackle, and just as dangerous. According to reliable reports, cholent may contribute to heart disease, arterial sclerosis, obesity, erectile dysfunction, and depression, and may actually have caused the premature demise of more Jews than anything else in history.

It is prepared by placing the filled casserole in a dying oven on Friday before shkiya, so as to be ready to eat on Saturday around midday. But perhaps you should try beid b’hamam instead? Or even some tasty Cassoulet?


Per a discussion in meseches Kilayim (vessels), cholent is quite similar to what Yakov fed Esav, as described in Sefer Bereishis, Parshas Toldos, psook 25:29 - 30: "Va yazed Yakov nazid, va yavo Esav min ha sade ve hu ayef" ('And Jacob seethed a pottage, and Esau, coming from the field, and being faint'), "va yomer Esav el Yakov, haleiteni na min ha adom, ha adom haze ki ayef anochi - al ken kara shemo Edom" ('and Esau said to Jacob ‘let me, I beg of you, have some of this red red pottage, for I am faint – wherefore would he be called Edom').

In short, Yakov wheezled Esav’s birthright out of him in return for some beandip, nebech.

[A metzia. Such a gonif, that Yakov, tssk tssk.]


Note that Edom means 'redness', just as ‘ha adom ha adom’ emphatically points to an intense red. These both derive from adama (earth - think of red clay), whence Adam, the first man, who was made of clay. As in our day only a golem is.

[Golem = A being without a will of it’s own, created to perform the wishes of it’s master; a politician, a State Department functionary. The cognate in Arabic (gulam) means slave.]


Once Esav recovered from the worst indigestion he had ever experienced, he realized that he had been had. Since then, Esav has looked upon Yakov with disfavour.


We are much more fortunate – we have an entire row of stomach medicines at Walgreen’s; everything from pink goo-swill for acid, purple pills for reflux, green once-a-days, E-Z Pepsid, various fruit-flavoured chalk-o-tabs for bile and gas, and swallowable charcoal compounds, to complex chemical cocktails which either tighten you up or loosen you down, plus a wide choice of fibrous substances for regularity, and clay & pectin blends for firmness and smooth passage. Kaolin is a mitzvah!

[But you have to wait (unless you stocked up since last Saturday). The end of shabbes brings as much joy as the beginning did - it ain’t just the bsomim either.]



DHANSAK

Jews are not the only tribe that favour methane-fruit bio-hazards for their day of rest - Parsees like to enjoy a fine dhansak on the weekend, followed by either a long and gut-rumbling-disturbed nap, or a half-hearted attempt at pru-urvu in the sweltering tropic heat of a Bombay afternoon.

[Dhansak = A Parsee dish of mixed lentils, meat (mutton), red pumpkin, kasoori methi (fenugreek leaf), and spices, slow stewed, and served with browned rice and potato croquettes or chicken kababs (marghi ni pattice), often on the weekend.]


Busy Bee (nom de guerre of the journalist, editor, and food-meyven Mr. Behram Contractor, himself a Parsee), often waxed eloquent in his columns for The Afternoon Despatch & Courier about this quintessential Parsee dish.

In his column on August 23, 1991 Busy Bee lamented that "the best restaurants for dhansak are closed. Café Health off Meadows Streets, where old waiters moved about in waist-coats and gave brass finger-bowls at the end of the meal; (--) Patuck next door, and Victory Stall on Apollo Bunder..."

[I wonder what caused 'em to close. Maybe it was artery-clog from too much Parsi Dairy ghee....... Pity though, they sound delightful.]


Excellent dhansak may still be had at the Ripon club, opposite Bombay University, and at CCI and Royal Yacht Club – but these are private clubs, and one must be invited.

So fond are Parsees of their dhansak, that they are nicknamed Dhansakiyas, just like Sindhis have become ‘Papad-khor’.


I think once peysach is over I'll go in search of some methi bhaji, and perhaps some pumpkin. I feel an urge coming on.