THAT'S OKAY, WE SPEAK ENGLISH

A friend who is of an ethno-cultural heritage which makes her unsuitable for dating, because she has certain praeconceived ideas and is very probably destined to end up married to a gentleman of her own socio-cultural group, and is therefore good friend material and a very nice person besides, but and however, wished that I had an extra pack of the thin Hello Kitty ciggies with the mandarin orange peel flavour capsule. Which she wants to give to another friend of hers who would like them and is going away.

Sadly, I did not. And she can't purchase them herself, as she does not speak Cantonese or any form of Chinese. The people who sell them are hesitant to vend such to non-Cantonese speakers, as they are not imported through regular above-ground channels.


She needed them that day. Cantonese takes longer to learn than that. It's like Dutch in a way, unless you sound like a native your attempt at even simple sentences sounds painful to the ear. Unlike Dutch, Cantonese also has turns of phrase and expressions which can baffle the unprepped mind, whereas Dutch is, of course, a logical and scientifically precise tongue utilized for truths and verities that everyone should know as well as my other native language. Besides being capable of splendid poetry.

Cantonese can insult you with fruit.
In Dutch we cannot do that.
It's sad.

If, for instance, Jimmy O. Yang were to tell you to "eat banana hit street" you might either take it severely amis, OR see it in context as a mildish criticism for something you did, or didn't, but shouldn't or should've. Depending on circumstances and interpretations.

Which reminds me by the way that although there are a number of places purporting to sell xiao long bao (小籠包 'siu lung baau') in Chinatown, there is now only one place operated by Shanghainese down there, and they don't. Years ago there was also a Shanghainese noodle soup lunch counter, above the basement business where illegal music cassette tapes were sold (by another Shanghainese), and up the block from a late night Shanghainese eatery, but that's all gone now, has been for years.

And, tangentially somewhat related thereto, the grocery store which the Dutch-speaking Hakkas from Sranang operated is also no longer around. That too is sad.


Dried mandarin orange peel (陳皮 'chan pei') is widely available, and used for a number of purposes culinarily and medicinally. Fragrant, slightly soothing to the mucous membranes and digestive organs, and adding subtle depth to a number of dishes. Often included in herbal preparations. There is a shop on Grant Avenue that specializes in this item.

Yes, no, they don't make those cigarettes any better for you.
And they aren't associated with increased virility.
They're just a nice ingredient to have.



When I was at school in the Netherlands, I frequently got bad grades in English, because we spoke 'American' at home. And everyone at that time knew that Americans were incapable of proper English, that horrible accent, with those misspellings, peculiar expressions, good lord basically trans-Atlantic Yorkshirese mixed with slang and cant! It's unintelligible and barbaric! Now, if you visit their country and attempt a Dutch phrase, their reaction is automatic; "that's okay, we speak English". Delivered in impeccable American, because several decades of teevee shows, movies, and popular music have taught the once heavily accented Dutch to sound like surfers and hippies from California. My high school English teachers would be rolling over in their graves.

If I go to Yorkshire, they treat me like a snooty guy from London.
They can't even tell that I'm from California and Holland.
I sound perhaps a bit too educated for that.



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