Today was spent at the buffing wheel working on several Charatan pipes, as well as a lovely Wilmer, and a few Savinellis. The hands led the thought process. Some stems were a bit too chewed. Either a man with a vicious set of chompers, or maybe a dog pipe smoker. About halfway through my lunch I started paying attention to the news. Blizzard conditions expected in the Midwest and a few other areas. Storms elsewhere, with rain, snow, cold, fierce winds. A severe dust storm, in Texas I think. And blithering idiocy in our nations capitol.
Boys, we've got nice sunny weather here in California, as well as intelligence. Neener neener neener. Enjoy your horrid weather and Republican foolishness.
The amount of attractive bare legs, of all genders, on the streets here is fairly staggering. Y'all don't have that, seeing as y'all have more morbid obesity, diabetes, and Litte Rascal Personal Mobility Scooters than is reasonable. Plus y'all have whole hordes of tightly clenched Karens who would be traumatised and offended by presentable gams.
A number of your fellow citizens need fork lifts.
There's Eric Cartman all over the place.
I feel for you. Really, I do.
You've seen Baywatch, so you know that we spend all of our time running in slo-mo into the surf wearing scanty red swim gear, while the sun strokes us with light and gentle rays. Why heck, most of us look like Pamela Anderson. Whereas many of you look like Big Momma Heffalump, and can't find swim togs that don't have a Hefty Compactor label. They're tough. Hefty ® reliably strong trash bags can tackle every task on your to-do list. Even fit your Texas-sized kinfolk. They are by no means overkill.
I love my fellow Americans. Oh gosh golly yes indeedy.
I just don't want to meet many of them, though.
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