Friday, August 02, 2024

WAIT, IS THAT PUMPKIN SPICE?

One of the cool things about Autumn is that NONE of my favourite bakeries and chachanteng will have anything with pumpkin spice. Whereas, totally proving that they are both crazy and degenerate, every damned Starbucks in the city will have EVERYTHING pumpkin spice. Which illustrates nicely why I haven't been in a Starbucks in fifteen years.
And then only because a friend needed to pee.

At one of the bakeries in Chinatown, there is a sign saying that the bathroom is out of order, because they don't want to get sued by someone in a wheelchair getting bent out of shape and figuring they can make a quick buck with a nuisance legal complaint. So now no one who reads English can leak there. Those of us who speak Chinese don't both reading the sign. We've gone there long enough that we don't have to.

Maybe y'all should go pee in Starbucks?
Let me give you directions.

I'm a good Christian in a way. I wish everybody at Starbucks should pee.
Don't clench, little pilgrims, it's bad for your bladder.
Gotta get rid of the pumpkin spice somehow.
And the tapioca balls.
A vast torrent, a rushing river, a veritable flood. Tourists at Starbucks. Grab your surfboards.
And kindly imagine The Ride Of The Valkyries from Apocalypse Now as background music.

Or, if it makes you feel better, that scene involving cars in The Blues Brothers. Far more mittel-Amerikanisch. Sweetness, love, butterflies.



While I was eating lunch yesterday (咖喱雞球、飯、熱港式奶茶 'gaa lei kai kau, faan, yit gong sik naai chaa'; chicken curry and rice with a cup of HK style milk tea) a white tourist was strong-armed into leaving a tip by the hardworking tough cookie waitress at the chachanteng. It was good. Smoked my pipe afterwards. Excellent.

Bumped into two people I know.
Ah choy looks older now.
But seems happy.



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1 comment:

The Spangled Grotto said...

Ah, I remember the days when City alleys afforded the rambling traveler ann opportunity to relieve himself in the dark shadows.

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