STUPID DRUNKEN SANTA

Today was Santa Con in San Francisco. An event during which yuppie maga scum dress like elves and get riotously stinko drunk in public. I assume that they're magaites, because real San Franciscans are all sober sensible people, who, if they drink, do so with restraint, and only after nightfall. In between singing hymns a cappella at meetings of the glee club.

As a civilized and godly man, like so many san Franciscans, I have never celebrated Santa Con, New Years Eve, Saint Patrick's Day, or Cinco De Mayo and any of the other events during which Berkeley Frat Boys drink themselves into pukesome oblivion.


Years ago, when I had gone to a local bar to hear the singing of Old Lang Syne when it was time to sing that, Dildo Bob demanded that I wade through the riotous crowd of intoxicated swine to fetch him some of the free champagne, even though I myself abjured it.
He was quite unpleasant when I refused.

He's dead now, I believe, and it was probably the cheap champagne.
Sometimes there's a reason why stuff is free.
It's crap, is what.

When I left this morning I alerted my apartment mate to the looming likelyhood of drunken misbehaviour by random Oaklanders flocking to the city to trash it. Berkeleyites! Drunken Berkelyites! Intemperance and dissipation! Exhibitionism and slutty elves!
She's a woman I've known for years, who does not imbibe.
A nice sober Cantonese American.
Quiet. Calm.


Now, if there was a mass celebration of superlatively fresh seafoods, lobster for instance, she'd be so there. Use those sharp elbows to get to the front of the line, leaving a pile of squirming corpses in her wake. Mine, bitches, I'm now first in line!
While muttering about stupid greedy kwailo.


The best thing about Santa Con is that it's always during the time of year when people are most likely to end up with pneumonia from silly behaviour outdoors. Years from now I shall happily tell the little kiddiewinkies about the time over a thousand shallow consumerite twenty-somethings croaked after misbehaving. Oh the happy time!


I disapprove of all of this.
You people are vile.



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