THE TEXTBOOK CASE

On one of the Facebook pages I follow, readers are discussing a dating site profile which states: "MUST READ! Any female willing to swipe right must meet the following criteria: you must be between 5'1 and 5'5 NO EXCEPTIONS. You must weigh no more than 110 pounds NO EXCEPTIONS. You must fit enough to hold me but no visible muscle tone. The anime girl in the second picture is a reference so if you don't look like her swipe left. NO RELIGIOUS PEOPLE! I want to raise intelligent children and can't sacrifice my seed to someone delusional enough to believe in so called "God". I am extremely smart."

The anime girl pic provided as a reference is predictable, precisely what you would expect. Breasts bigger than her head, curvy, with thundrous thighs that taper nicely, and long silky chocolate-auburn hair. She is taking off her glasses, and pausing from her homework to look directly at the viewer. Surrounded by textbooks in disarray. Obviously, a college girl.

Shan't describe his photo. That would be unkind.


I know what you are thinking.
An ideal man!


My regular Tuesday night bar hopping companion has worked with several women who more or less meet those criteria. Remarkably, he is still single. In his case it's probably because he has chosen to not complicate his life. My life for several years had been complicated -- very nicely so -- but that ended a while back. No, she didn't look like an anime chick, though one acquaintance was convinced that I had practised black magic and thus befuddled her mind.

Yesterday's bar hop started with a pipe smoked calmly by myself, continued with food and beverage at a burger place, after which we gave beer a miss because that place was filled, and finished with whiskey and hot tea at the karaoke bar. Which, because of looming rainy weather, was rather sparsely populated. Weird shiznit on screen, a Chinese talent show.
It was altogether very enjoyable.

Sadly, there were no curvy college girls with shiny hair smoking fine briar pipes about, but to be perfectly honest we weren't paying that much attention. Although if there had been, I'm sure I would have noticed.

I've only known two college girls who smoked pipes, and both of them enjoyed Balkan style blends (Latakia, Turkish, and Virginia) rather than Virginia-Perique flakes.
As, at that time, so did I.

One of them was a Bourbon drinker, the other drank tea.
Both of them had already graduated by then.

I didn't focus on their weights.
They weren't tall.



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