HAPPY COLUMBUS DAY!

In keeping with the traditions of my tribe, I shall not be casting a critical look at white America today, and uttering platitudes about the original inhabitants of this continent or colonialism, technology, or infectious diseases. Nor weeping over all the beauty and saintly harmony with nature that was swept away by rapacious conquistadors and puritans. As the old saying goes: "f*ck that". I figure everybody else can jolly well do it, and they will, so it would be pointless to add further meaningless drivel to the big stinking heap of excoriation.
That's what places like Berkeley and Oakland are for.

Instead, I'll be celebrating coffee, milk tea, fine pipe tobacco, and the invention of printing. If it weren't for Columbus and the rape of an entirely new continent, such blessings as Sriracha and the flake tobacco press would not exist. Nor would the entire California wine sector.

On the plus side, none of us would ever have to eat turkey again.
And there wouldn't be such a thing as "pumpkin spice".

And given that the native diet of Europe north of the Alps was insufficiently nutritious without meat, Vegans wouldn't exist either. That would undoubtedly be a might fine thing.

The burrito as we know it is the direct result of colonialization. And as such, I expect the virtuous people of Berkeley to damned well abstain from feasting on such a thing.
Instead, let them eat plain boiled pumpkin and corn mush.

Plus lima beans. Yum yum, bitches.



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