THEY COVER EVERYTHING WITH THEIR OILY PINK SLIME

There are large creatures in the undergrowth that keep hidden, just waiting for you to stumble out in a fevered state. They are shy but ferocious. And can sense when you are at your weakest, defenses down, and all those appetizing juices flowing through your veins, with a throbbing in your cerebrum. Bleary eyed, you cannot focus. But there it is again.

Something humongous underneath the palm trees.

It crashes through the high grass and minor shrubbery on too many legs.
"May I", it demands to know, "speak to the person who pays the Pacific Gas and Electric bill?" You note bemusedly that it has a more dulcet voice than "Stan from your neighborhood air duct cleaning service", perhaps Southern, is that a drawl that you hear? But this creature is no less annoying. You decide that once you have a clear shot, you are going to empty the entire can of Black Flag into its face.


Please stop calling.



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