THIS IS OLIVIA FROM APPLE SUPPORT ...

Call: "This is Olivia from Apple Support, we are calling to notify you that there is a problem with your i-cloud account..." Which is very interesting. Because I do not have an i-cloud account, and this is a landline.
I am in no way an Apple customer.


Hello, Olivia, I love your voice. It is so ... sexy.

Let us for a while ignore the fact that you represent a sleazoid scam outfit that takes advantage of gullible people -- our president has done the same, that's American capitalism in action and I hope you've called everybody in the Bible Belt -- and focus on what you are doing this Friday evening.
Does it involve ropes and chains? And a can opener?
It really should.

By the way, I am fully dressed right now, no scrap of lace in sight, because it is cold and frigid in this apartment, due to the weather outside ("so cold, so cold") and will not enter any code in my search bar. No, sorry, no access to and control of my computer for you. Did I already mention that I love your voice, Olivia? Please tell that odious bhainchoot Rajiv to get off the line, he sounds like a Goonda.

Sabai Delhivaale avaaja-vanga gundo...


My fingers are freezing, Olivia. Can you come over to warm them?

No, I do not have an i-cloud account. But if I did, it would be filled with elephant videos. Lovely recordings, of elephants. So majestic. I promise you that you would not find any credit card data there. Or blackmail material.
Just gentle pachyderms.

How did you get my number, Olivia?
The secret elephant hotline?

Goodbye, dear Olivia.

Call again.





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