Tuesday, January 29, 2019

READ THIS FIRST; IT MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE!

When I came home my apartment mate was whacking chicken and ranting about Trump. The two activities are only incidentally connected, but both require vehemence, even a certain amount of energy.
That chicken, though already gutted and plucked, and quite naked and helpless, deserved every clop with the cleaver.


Meantime, I fixed myself a cup of coffee.
As I usually do after work.


Ranting about our dearly despised president is way too intellectual for me until at least an hour or more after I've had that coffee, and the most complicated thought in my mind at present is wondering which pipe to smoke after the quesadilla I intend to have at The Tower in a while.


One thing I read today, in a quiet moment, is that it is not advisable to take viagra when on nitro-glycerin for the heart. Two things must be mentioned, namely that while what the doctor prescribed are nitro-glycerin patches, JUST IN CASE angina occurs (which it hasn't yet), so that's a milder dosage than a pill, and also that not only do I not have any viagra in the house, the idea of taking it has never even crossed my mind.

Even before the prescription for nitro patches.

What baffles me is that it had to be said. Like a warning to not get pregnant while taking blood pressure medications, or the statement on a box of cigars that "use of cigars while pregnant may harm you or your child". What kind of person thinks "oh, I'm having a heart-attack, I had better get ready for sex", or "good gracious, I'm in a family way, I should enjoy a box of stogies"? Maybe my fellow citizens are crazier than I thought.


But, I suppose that like the caution on a skin cream I saw years ago ("do not apply directly to anus"), such things must be stated explicitly now on every conceivable product that fits certain definitions, or appeals to a certain demographic.


Basically the type of person who snarfs multiple bacon cheeseburgers. Before engaging in sexual behaviour.
It should probably be on those bacon cheeseburgers instead. Do not apply these directly to anus. Use of these patties if pregnant may harm you or your child. Don't have nookie while snarfing these junkfoods. Or at the very least use a napkin to wipe the bacon grease off your face.

And avoid the man using viagra. He may collapse at any moment.
Even if he does share your passion for bacon cheeseburgers.
It ain't worth it, girl. That hard-on is deceptive.
Go on; have a good cigar instead.


These are all First World Problems.




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