INADEQUATE ELTON

The poncy man on stage in the video sang better. Instead, half the time we got the black guy with the voice, his oily Eastern European boyfriend, or the very drunk Anglo with a girlfriend who was swilling too much next to me. White people should not sing karaoke. Especially not when they're trying to impress girlfriends or boyfriends.

Perhaps unfortunately, the Chinese did not sing.

They were too busy with liars dice.

And snarfing pizza.


The poncy video dude was doing Canto Pop. He was interrupted too many times by white folks who wished to sing Elton John numbers. I have never, in my entire life, wanted to sing an Elton John song.

Nobody I would date, or wish to do naughty things with, has ever demanded that I do an Elton John song.

Nothing I do has needed Elton John.

I wish that to be clear.

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